jakbstrd

it is a wonderful new life.

i continually dream about living a new life. one in which i could just live anonymously. but i am not destined for that. i have tried, but i can not remain anonymous. i can not escape the pull of people asking me to partake in the creation of their memories. i have tried to be someone different for so very long. it has come to naught. i am accepting that what i am is okay. that who i am is okay. accepting my faults. learning to live with my SELF. i wonder if that person that i am will suffer a breakdown. i can already feel the impending doom spread. i can sense the fear of accepting responsibility at my job creeping in to every molecule of my being. more and more it will build. i fear the release of those fears.

whatever. i have lived too long without responsibility. as my father said, it is time that i accept the responsiblity that i have shunned for so long. until i learn to deal with it, i will never be prepared for truly living.