its a skill that takes experience. thats why you see the dad cliche' type...you cant teach the timing , the knack of measuring ...etc in cooking school. i know, baby its a must-have skill in texas style cooking. my dad wont teach me shit about it. its like a secret underground movement with these old sons of bitches.
well, my fine young cannibals. it is time to say farewell to the bosums and naughty pantaloon-less pictorials. i have found a new and uncompromised love in Our Lord Jesus Christ.
I refrain from the Holy Scriptures and quoting Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. but i can't resist to read you this from the Book of Jorgensen:
drinking the blood of jesus
drinking it right from his veins... Read More
i studied entomology for a couple years. so i know some shit about bugs and spiders. my nickname was scorpio for fucks sake. do you know what it takes to be called scorpio and the reputation that it comes with, you tiny crustaceous bitches??! sorry, i get excited when i talk about things related to the field.
i tried to explain this to my sister, the fact about my extraordinary knowledge in the realm of entomology, but she didn't listen.she's not a listener. and it was on. it was a good day to die in the realm of facts.
you ask, what does it take for a man to back-hand his own sister with the five finga ring of knowledge? walking around in my backyard with no shoes, thats what. you might as well stick your dick into a burrow or hole in the ground because you're asking for trouble. fuck snakes, those are pussies compared to power of the taxonomy of insect species. fire and army ants, mosquitoes, centipedes, and arachnids. 22 classes of spiders alone can cause tissue damage beyond your wildest dreams.
but no. she's prancing around the lechugilla and cactus among the deadly fauna like a true idiot. then i bombarded her mind with facts about Grammostola, Phrixothrichus, or for you lamans, the Taratula. she looked at me with that tilted puppy head look, then i unleashed the Scorpion, or shall i say "Arthropoda, subphylum Chelicerata, class Arachnida, order Scorpiones)". i explained to her that scorpions, unlike spiders, will charge you or will purposely drop off a ceiling on top of you. they can jump up as far as three feet. scorpions have venom that can cause cardiac arrest or even instant diarreah ( i shit you not ), and not to mention the undescribable pain of a scorpion sting.
she's too busy flappin her fat lips about how her dog won a wiener dog race in Kyle. then bam. she screams because she's stepping on a fire ant pile. then she gets stung by a scorpion. i looked at her and she looked at me. in her eyes, inside that swirling vortex of pain, i saw that she suddenly realized what i was saying. she had redeemed herself unto me. of course, i found my handy bottle of scorpion anti-venom i personally squeezed out of a class Heterometrus, thank you very much! she sat there in pain, disgrace, and a solemn defeat. dont FUCK with scorpio.
before i became a world renowned chef, i was in the tech business.
i found that as things become more technological and 'advanced' they actually become more complicated. its like a computer chip. we can make MOSFETS at the micron scale , yet the chip only becomes bigger instead of smaller.
if it was left up to me, everything should be a command prompt:
$... Read More
