I have four (that I can currently think of) hereditory problems that make me self conscious. hyperactive thyroid, loss of pigmentation, starting to loose my hair, and bad teeth. Most of which is probably caused by my thyroid problem but im just guessing, I mean how would I know without insurance of any kind... Sadly I also can't change or fix most of these any time soon. But I'm trying to change all that. At one point I just wanted to give up and just disappear, but now I am just dealing with what I can deal with that day and setting goals to try and reach. Fuck my hair. I can't do shit about that one and knew this day would start at some point but not so soon. Yet I have friends who started to lose their hair right after high school so I can't complaine. As for my skin its something I've known was happening since I could remember and sadly I don't think I have any pigment left, I had such a nice skin tone too, but again nothing I can do. I get sunburnt really fast now also so I have to have sunblock with me if I am going to be outside😑 it blows. But one day I'll tattoo most of myself to make it so I don't burn instantly... My thyroid would need massive attention and medication for the rest of my life to get a hold of. Until I get a better career that won't happen so that's what I'm working toward. And last and what I consider the most embarrassing... My teeth. Up until I was 18 my teeth were almost flawless then it went to shit. I need this to be addressed the most I think. It totally ruins my confidence and makes me not want to go anywhere especially a dentist. I feel like I'm being judged and made fun of at every turn. I think I need to find a place that will knock me out and then do the work that's needed because all it will take is one wrong phrase or remark and I'll never go back. Ugh just typing this is hard enough. I feel like I should move back to Arizona and put myself back in school so I can try and get aid that way. I almost got my thyroid treated but started too late and then was leaving a month later back to Jersey.... So I am trying. That's all I can do.
