jaeiam

Yesterday's expected 'quick trip' to the pediatrician became a long horrible experience. I have takeBlaize to have a chest X ray. He might have restricted airway disease (RAD) which is a precursor to asthma. They ordered a breathing machine and are having it sent to my house. I have to give him breathing treatments every 4- 6 hours. I hope that my boy can be well soon.
~Last night my Ex called.... I must of been 'venting' for 10 minutes straight and only stopped to yell " Don't you have anything to say!" He was quiet and said " I wish I knew what to say that would help, but I don't think anything would. I don't think it is my place to give you advice." Who else could offer me advice on what to do with 'our child' . He's right though, in his absence he hasn't the place to add his opinion.
~ I am lovesick again. It hurts , but this time is different. I know that our love was so strong and real. I feel lucky to have experienced it and lucky to have received it for the time that I was able to. I miss my best friend. I cry when I think of our kiss, our mornings, our dancing, our car rides, our hope of forever together.
The difference this time is that I know that we both want more than anything to be together. I saw my reflection in his tears. I hear him call my name through the passionate hateful words. I know his love.