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jaeiam

Mesa, Arizona USA

Member Since 2003

Followers 18 Following 14

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Tuesday Jul 01, 2003

Jul 1, 2003
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Without affection people can die. It is supposedly as important in raising children as it is to provide them food, clothes, education and shelter. So why as adults do people pretend it isn't needed or wanted? People will get it somehow, or somewhere. They will fill up the emptiness , just don't deny the human need and desire of it all. Don't be ashamed, it is our nature. Some feel ashamed that they so easily connect and love others, some feel guilty of how attracted to others they can become. Why? Just be.
No matter how hard my heart should be by now and no matter how cold I should be inside. I still love, and want and that makes me human. I sometimes wish for the hatred to come over me to leave my complicated head and webs of complex emotion. Sometimes I just believe so much in the hatred that I feel it for awhile. It seems ideal and blissful. Easier! Not to shuffle through the memories of love and remember exact sensations. Only the truly unexperienced are safe, locked away with their ignorance of LOVE.
***Sometimes I look down into the face of the love that we created and I remember how beautiful we were.Our love, with your eyes and my smile. Too bad he will not remember you.
cornelius:
without affection people can die, but theres always an alternative. everybody wants to be wanted, sometime. i live without affection every single day. theres the neighborly familial love, and the gleam in my mothers eye a thousand miles away, but i never get the emotional contact that i so often crave. im at the point now where i count on not getting it, junkie sick cold turkey. ive learned to replace the pangs i feel with chemicals and shiny things. being prepared for disappointment is the key to serenity.

i tend to get attatched to others easily im not clingy, and im not a smotherer, not a space invader... my head just races years ahead of my heart, and just when i realize its no use daydreaming about the future, ive already fucked up any chance i might have had at the present day.

Why bother? Its gonna hurt me. Its gonna kill when they desert me

-bobby
Jul 1, 2003

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