jaeci

More meandering thoughts. Not intended to be poetry, so don't assume it's failed poetics

Sometimes, I've just wanted to jump out of my skin,
to discard my armor,
to dismantle the faade that sits behind scaffolding,
constantly under construction

It's not easy when you know but you can't say,
it's not easy to explain the choices you've made,
the choices that are so straightforward for others,
the choices that tell a story that isn't true.

The actions we take are like threads on a loom
And mine wove me a dress I never wanted to wear.
With skin painted in theatrics,
I became unrecognizable
A character, performing;
reading the lines I was expected to say.

I sang these songs about people that were not like me
I read about love that I could never understand
I slept in beds I knew I didn't belong in.
I played along, but I didn't fool anyone.


I'm not lost. I'm found.