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jaeci

Nomads have none.

SG Since 2007

Followers 4217 Following 2401

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Monday Nov 29, 2010

Nov 29, 2010
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I've got hellish academic writer's block - I need a fuckin scholastic bypass, something...
Nothing to say, not even about topics that really turn me on

I need to tune out my life, but empathy will be my downfall

I've gotta learn, I've gotta learn, I'll never learn... Fuck, I'm everybody's mother and everybody's verbal punching bag, I feel so guilty when I share my problems with other people that I sensor it all and give this delicate, watered down version so everyone can think life is unicorns and fuckin rainbows... Ah boys and girls, I can not fight your monsters for you, I can not slay the fucking demons, I can not tame the beasts.

I've got stories to write my friends, but my fingers can't move fast enough... inside my head, the thoughts are moving slow, slow like molasses, sticking to the inside of my skull,
words, phrases, paragraphs, splitting, splintering

Today, I am pretty sure I'm going to crack
It's the kind of day that I should just erase, but I can't, it doesn't work like that
I should be sketching out my thoughts because I'm lacking the right words
But no, no, no, I've got to give my energy to things I do not care about
I've got to give my energy to people I do not care about

Tomorrow, we return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Translation: %&(@&%(&(&( AHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
78walk:
In terms of the excessive empathy issue, change is often not a linear thing. I can go along for years knowing there's something I need to do differently, without much visible progress, and then at some point a switch flips and the change happens. There's hope for you yet. wink

Sometimes the best cure for writer's block is to just force yourself to sit down and start writing. Even if the first few paragraphs or pages don't end us being usable, it can help break through the block and lead to the words starting to flow properly again.
Nov 29, 2010
hooeylewis:
I too feel guilty about sharing my problems with others. I too often give watered down versions of what I am actually thinking and feeling. Sometimes i almost think I am too concerned for others.
Nov 30, 2010

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