what the fuck
today was a horrible day all around.
i just dont know where to begin.
i had tears in my eyes every 15 minutes. what is wrong with me?
then when i go to the bar just to have a good time and try to forget about the rest of the day, i see all my "friends" hanging out.
i feel so left out. no one ever calls me. i dont even know if i should really even concider them my friends. or maybe im just not their friend. i dont really feel like i am anyones friend. i am always doing things alone, both because i dont mind being alone, and also because no one ever seems to want to spend any time with me. am i really so horrible and mean that i am not someone who gets called when people go out?
the more i think about it, the worse it gets. i have a few friends who will hang out with me when its just the two of us, but then when a public place or anyone else gets involved, its like its a horrible time or i am such a pain to be around, like its some kind of chore they are pissed about having to do.
fuck it.
either be my friend or dont.
if you only want to be around me when we are doing something that you love, then i dont see the point. you should like being around me no matter what the circumstances are.
i just dont know what to do.
i have tomorrow off (a goddamn saturday for once) and i couldnt get a single person to hang out with me.
i guess thats why i have cats. so i can feel loved and needed sometimes.
one thing that made me smile tonight was an email i got, and the last two lines were...
"i hope things are going well for you, you dererve the best Jae"
it may not be true, but atleast someone seems to think it is.
fuck today
today was a horrible day all around.
i just dont know where to begin.
i had tears in my eyes every 15 minutes. what is wrong with me?
then when i go to the bar just to have a good time and try to forget about the rest of the day, i see all my "friends" hanging out.
i feel so left out. no one ever calls me. i dont even know if i should really even concider them my friends. or maybe im just not their friend. i dont really feel like i am anyones friend. i am always doing things alone, both because i dont mind being alone, and also because no one ever seems to want to spend any time with me. am i really so horrible and mean that i am not someone who gets called when people go out?
the more i think about it, the worse it gets. i have a few friends who will hang out with me when its just the two of us, but then when a public place or anyone else gets involved, its like its a horrible time or i am such a pain to be around, like its some kind of chore they are pissed about having to do.
fuck it.
either be my friend or dont.
if you only want to be around me when we are doing something that you love, then i dont see the point. you should like being around me no matter what the circumstances are.
i just dont know what to do.
i have tomorrow off (a goddamn saturday for once) and i couldnt get a single person to hang out with me.
i guess thats why i have cats. so i can feel loved and needed sometimes.
one thing that made me smile tonight was an email i got, and the last two lines were...
"i hope things are going well for you, you dererve the best Jae"
it may not be true, but atleast someone seems to think it is.
fuck today
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
fool_til_death:
thats fucking grooooooooooooossssssssssssss 
snkrpimp88:
Jae, no problem on the pics, they are awesome! I didn't know you were from Colorado...I love and miss my home town sooo much...I never get back there anymore, I should come back to see some of my friends and family sometime soon. Hope you have a better evening or day tomorrow than you had today.