jadednerdgirl

I had a great time withccfoo last night. He did get introduced to my zoo of animals. I have never seen a guy jump like that over a lizard though. my lizard was hiding so I pulled her out. hee hee hee. Also met my family. Those oddballs were so behaved. I wondered what they were up to. oh well.

So last night was pizza and the kill bill movies last night. Thank goodness the family was asleep when I got home. I didn't want to deal with them

I think I have had enough of them. before I wanted out of living here because I was restless but now they are behaving how they use to. I use to think it was me because I was a little wild. but I have been settles for years now and they are different now. but they are now being them old selves. I really hate it. and I couldn't live through it the first time.

mom is demanding no money I have can go to going to Fleur's wedding. I am not even alllowed to pay for a small part of the plane ticket. I got a check from my grandmother. its postdated so I can't use it till january. she felt she had to help me a little. not much but its the thought. my mother demanded that I handed it over to her. so I would not take it and try to use it for me to get to fleurs wedding not that I was even thinking of doing that. I was going to use birthday money to do that but she demanded birthday money goes to bills too.

before I was just restless about still being at home but now I am hating it. Their life consumes me. I have tons of stuff that I need to be doing for them and when that is done I should be doing more. so I never get my stuff done. then mom insults me to say that I am lying about falling asleep at the wheel. She thinks that I was playing with the stereo or my phone and that I am lying. this is the lady that has been nice to me about it but now wants to accuse me everything under the sun. The best part now my grandmother was 'are you sure you fell asleep' at this point I blew up. so of course my dad yells at me for yelling but I don't give a shit anymore about that. I am tired of accusations and the distrust. I have done what I can for them in the past three years that I moved in for them. maybe it wasn't enough.

I definately was looking foward to moving out. I guess that won't be happening for even longer now since I will not be able to afford it for even longer. I thought that once I finished the last of my school stuff I would be able to. That is the most depressing thing at the moment.

No fleur, no car, dissappearing life, no money, no point of escape. ...I am tired ot this.

well at least last night was fun

yesterday I had no pills for the first time. I was really trying not to so I wouldn't need to pass out. I don't think today will have that same repeat performance. I hurt too much today already. im sore bitch bitch bitch.