jadednerdgirl

I keep going to update and I start typing but then delete it. I have done that since yesterday. so maybe this time I will actually update

Today is my last day before the trip. Trying to pack things up to go. grr

On my list today:

Pedicure (my mom gave me money and told me to go)
return videos
mall to buy makeup for trip (now that I am a shade darker)
school
actually school early so matt can help me glaze two of my pieces and also to see if I can submit a painting early for the december show.
clean bathroom
clean room
do last load of laundry.

I think that is it.


I am throwing this in here after a discussion with a friend which I have had many times before. This was brought up upon something that was suppose to happen yesterday. <I don't know why I am bringing it up because someone will read it but now I am just going to ramble> I feel like a bitch for being annoyed by it though. though I was annoyed. I have had a week planned out because I am so full of things that need to be done. I made plans with someone. so committed to these plans and all my other plans I turned down stuff that weekend because I couldn't afford timewise and gaswise to keep going out. but this is often how things are with me. so the day of the person calls me and cancel. I am annoyed. I understand why but because I understand I feel like an ass because I am also annoyed.

I feel like it is a respect thing when you make plans cancelling them last minute is disrespectful. I don't tolerate it usually from boys, boyfriends/girlfriends, or basically anyone. I think it is fine for once in a blue moon but for very good reasons. I don't do it to other ppl and I don't want it done to me. either make plans or don't. I have restricted some ppl to not allowing making plans (and will tell them why) when I lived up north I restricted them only asking me things day of because they make habit of skipping out. maybe I feel like an ass because I said something and it was replied that we are just friends. I know we are just friends but do you do acts of disrespectfulness to people that are your friends. I think I might make things a bigger deal than what they should because I tend to forget that people tend to not believe that cancelling is a form of disrespect. Then to make things worse I got pissy at something and said goodbye and hung up. which I called before my break was done to apologize because that was me being an ass. damn conscious. I don't have much of one and when it appears it does so at odd times. I have odd values for ones that I do have. sometimes I just need to know when to shut up and yesterday and today are not one of those times that I am not paying attention to that.... when I really should be. I don't know maybe the person doesn't understand why I was annoyed. out of all the things I said .... I never said that I saw things like that as a showing of disrespect that there is proper amounts of time to cancel something but I never say what I need to say when I say hings. maybe that is why I always seem an ass.

oh and another thing I do is be a little meaner when I meet ppl at times. Then if they seem okay then I will get nice. poor guy in the computer lab had me be mean for an entire semester before I was nice. now that just creeps him out that I am nice and been nice ALL semester. ah what to do.... complain if I am mean and they complain when I am nice. I never get ahead in this world.

I am so sad that after tomorrow morning I won't be on SG for an entire 10 days. well unless when I see Shane and we end up at his house and he lets me log on. well shane and I are meeting up for breakfast and afterwards I want to go meet his baby girl. he says she has gotten so big since I last saw pictures. then I can also say hi to his family. they let me stay with them one break and I always visited with them when they came to Edinboro. I miss shane a lot. we are too much of troublemakers when we are together. but cannot not love a guy that would never get mad at you for setting him on fire... in a middle of circuit city... in the computer department.... even though I didn't *mean* too.

I do get to see one of my other favorite bois Tim. he will be at the wedding. he will be there late friday and leave on monday. he will be my only friend that was invited to the wedding. plus my family invited him to the FAMILY ONLY events that weekend too. my parents treat him like they treat their other two sons except they don't have to dish money out to him.

well I am on my way out after I do hair and makeup
ciao

oh sorry for the neurotic ramblings. and don't take offense to it... they are only neurotic ramblings with out of whack ideals.

and wow I am not even deleting this entry....