jacquesdemolay

My best friend tried to kill himself a couple days ago. This has never happened before, not a close call, not so much as a threat, nothing. I just didn't expect it. I knew he'd been depressed, but he'd been depressed for over a year. His life had kind of fallen apart but he was doing an admirable job of keeping together the parts of his life that he could. I'd talked to him, and tried to be there for him as much as I could. He was really strong through what I had thought was the worst of it. I saw him when I was back in the US, and sure, he wasn't exactly the happiest I'd ever seen him, but he seemed to be doing so much better than he had been a few months before, I'd thought we were out of the woods.

I've tried calling him, now that he's out of the hospital, but I still haven't gotten a hold of him. I got the news from a mutual friend who was the one who actually called the police and had them break down his door. I'm grateful that she's kept me in the loop, but I've been having a hard time with this. I hate that I'm so far away, in another country. My friend needed someone and I was all the way over here. I hate this helpless feeling of not being around the people I care about. I don't know what to do.