jackrabbit_

So I wrote all of this yesterday....and figured I would share it on here today.

So as I sit here tonight, I realize how much I HATE it when I can't help someone I care about so dearly. Be it distance, talking, etc, it truly drains me mentally to know that people I love hurt, or aren't happy. I've always been one to put my feelings to the back to be the stronger one for the people who need me, and I don't mind that and wouldn't change a thing. It is a rewarding filling knowing that you can make someone smile, or help them during a tough time. My tough times don't matter to me. When it comes to people I love, that is all that matters. I would do anything possible to make them feel better-no matter what it is. That's me, the faithful old dog...always dependable and there when needed. My heart breaks when my loves are in pain. Maybe I care too much? No....that's not the case. I only let a few amount in to know the real me, and for me, that's a big deal. Of course, I am always afraid of getting hurt, but I try to not let it stop me from allowing them to see me. Everyone knows how much I hate secrets and lies, so I hope that the people I DO let in don't do those things to me-----I'd NEVER do it to them. It just hurts me when others hurt. I suppose that is a flaw of mine. Flaw or not, I wouldn't change it. The people I do care about do love me for me, and I couldn't ask for more than that. And I wouldn't change ONE of them because I accept them how they are. There may be things I don't like, but that never changes how I feel.

All in all, tonight I feel helpless to the ones that need me....even if they don't realize it. Even if they don't admit it. As long as they know I am always there, no questions asked. As long as they know I accept them. As long as they know how much I truly care. You guys know who you are...it's not something I keep a secret. I love you and wish I could take your pain away. I wish I could make you smile. I wish I was enough.