jackmd

life sucks for me after a good year of non-reality and happiness
i have feelings of rejection and hate in the worst way
i try to be good but cant make things right with the people i care about
i wish i was no longer around really seriously
i have had so much fucking heartache in my life i cant take anymore
42 years of a whole lot of pain and loneliness
i have generally been really good to the people in my life
but cannot maintain any decent relationships for whatever reason
i am a decent caring dude and sincerely want the best for those near me
i am too old for hope and used up my last little bit of kindness
it sucks when you reach out in earnest to someone and it does not translate to something good
i know i am a good man and know i should not be so isolated
but isolation and rejection seem to be my calling and here i am in full effect
i wish i would not wake up tomorrow, and never have feelings for anyone again
i wish my life would of been different than how i have ended up
you can do really well for many years in your life and still end up fucked off and alone in the end
and that is where i am now and i am not ok with it at all.... so fuck the world ........