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jackmcginnis

Michigan

Member Since 2005

Followers 46 Following 55

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Tuesday Jul 07, 2009

Jul 7, 2009
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*Sigh* Sorry for the emo entry, but I feel like crap...oh Mr. depression you're a fun fellow. So if you're looking for cheery craziness skips this entry.

Ever get those days when you feel like no one cares. For some reason that's been my feelings lately. I mean Toronto is full of all kinds of cool people who have been really cool to me. But Is it wrong to really want to find someone to care unconditionally about me so I don't feel so stupid when I care back? To want a relationship or at least the chance to actually start the process. I don't know, it's not like I go actively looking for one, nor do size up every person I meet as a potential relationship, but it would be nice to find someone every so often to have sort of relationship. To feel cared about for at least a couple of moments.

Maybe it's been my surroundings. Everywhere I go things are very "coupley" and I've kind of began to feel left out. There's happy couples all around. Various other friends are getting married. I'm not in a couple, I'm not the womanizing playboy, nor am I the loner type that wants to be alone 100% of the time. Nor am I out to get some and get gone. I just want to be caring, but frankly it's just turning me more and more bitter and distrusting. Though all of you happy couple friends please don't curtail your happy coupleness around me on my account. I'm not blaming anything on you nor asking you to stop. I've always been a believer that no one should have to "tone it down" reguardless of sexual preference/relationship type/group/ or etc.

It's all just...frustrating. Maybe it's been the years and years of having to watch my toxic parents passive aggressively fight each other. Maybe it's been years of "dating" advice from friends that has never helped nor made sense. Maybe I'm just undateable.

Again I apologize for the mopeyness, I'm just trying to get sad things out.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kekelyn:
man.. do i ever get what you are saying..

I've more than reserved myself to being single forever due to all the above.
Jul 7, 2009
lilcupcake:
awww kiss You know, playing the devils advocate, even being in a relationship can make you feel stupid for caring back....there is a vulnerability there and its pretty fragile. I'm just sayin! The right person for you has obviously not come along yet, but that doesn't mean they aren't right around the corner. Hell I just got out of something fierce and did not expect to be in a relationship and it just happened. I kind of think its better when it happens that way they to go out chasing it, if that makes sense at all. If not, feel free to kick me, hard.
Jul 7, 2009

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