jackmcginnis

So I feel like the past four hours have been a relapse for me.

I back to being kind of depressed, kind of nervous, and back to wondering why hasn't anything changed or improved in my life.

I guess it's a disappointment with my social life? I mean when I was up in Canada, which god was two years ago, I would end up going to the movies alone. Always because I could never get someone to go with me. Tonight I went to the movies alone because I had nothing better to do and you know what? It felt fucking terrible.

Am I really that repulsive of a guy that I still don't have some sort of a friend? I mean I think I would have felt a little better if I would have had at least someone to call, and then them just being busy, but no, I had no one to call and I knew that. I've stopped even taking shots in the dark.

Plus this whole being really nervous when I normally wouldn't thing is really starting to worry me. I mean this is something totally new and it seemed to crop up right after my whole Starbucks ordeal. I mean tonight I found out that I'm closing with my boss. Something that isn't totally bad, I've been a good employee. But for some reason I'm fucking terrified. Why? I don't know. I mean I've worked with her before. This should be no biggie, right?

I don't know this is why I need a good friend. I mean I'd love to start there. Then maybe advance onwards to a decent girlfriend that isn't just using me to make her self feel better or as a place holder.

Well night night interwebs and pictures of really hot, sexy, intelligent girls.