Man has it been rough week.
School had a decent start but now has started to head down hill. My depression is still kind of there in full strength.
My search for at least one good friend and maybe a descent, caring girlfriend have failed. In the friend department it just seems like I always attract fair weather friends that will hang around me when I have something to give them but when I start to be depressed and just need someone to talk to all of a sudden poof their gone or I'm being too "strange" or too much of a "downer". But oh no when they're having an issue (such as that guy they randomly fucked last night thinks that he is in a relationship with them) I'm a bad friend because I didn't sense their problems from across town and run to their aid.
As for the girlfriend thing, that's a lost cause. All of the girls around me at school for some reason don't interest me. Ok let me clarify the girl who are not married or in some why involved in a relationship that is semi permeant arrangement don't interest. And while I am a very lonely person I will not go around destroying marriages for my own selfish reasons. I don't know why I don't attract the opposite sex. I haven't noticed anything that is utterly repulsive about my self. I'm a clean person both physically and in matters of drugs. I'm stable enough where I'm not going to end up hurting a significant other. I'm not a sex crazed male and I don't think of every female I meet as my next potential girlfriend. Is it too much to ask to find someone who is willing to care about me and love me and what to be cared about and loved back.
Anyways enough about the who girlfriend thing it's depressing me. Speaking of depressing things I seem to have developed a taste for bourbon. I blame all of the Cat Power I've been listening to. For some reason I listen to Cat Power when I'm really depressed and her music really makes me want bourbon. Of course after this week I've been taking my self up on my own offer and had a couple shots. I'm also intrested to find out that the same time I was having a pretty major mental break down (Early this year) Cat Power was having one. Makes me feel less alone in the world I guess. And it makes me really feel for her. Also for those of you who like good bourbon I HIGHLY suggest you go try a bottle of Booker's bourbon made by the same people as Jim Beam. Sure it's a little more but the shit is great. I just snuck a shot from a bottle a little while ago and my vision is already blurring. Yet despite it being about 25 proof stronger then my usual 100 proof Knob Creek it goes down a lot smoother.
So alright, it's almost 2 am and I'm dead tired so I leave you with THIS. Something I'm sure all of you ladies will want.
School had a decent start but now has started to head down hill. My depression is still kind of there in full strength.
My search for at least one good friend and maybe a descent, caring girlfriend have failed. In the friend department it just seems like I always attract fair weather friends that will hang around me when I have something to give them but when I start to be depressed and just need someone to talk to all of a sudden poof their gone or I'm being too "strange" or too much of a "downer". But oh no when they're having an issue (such as that guy they randomly fucked last night thinks that he is in a relationship with them) I'm a bad friend because I didn't sense their problems from across town and run to their aid.
As for the girlfriend thing, that's a lost cause. All of the girls around me at school for some reason don't interest me. Ok let me clarify the girl who are not married or in some why involved in a relationship that is semi permeant arrangement don't interest. And while I am a very lonely person I will not go around destroying marriages for my own selfish reasons. I don't know why I don't attract the opposite sex. I haven't noticed anything that is utterly repulsive about my self. I'm a clean person both physically and in matters of drugs. I'm stable enough where I'm not going to end up hurting a significant other. I'm not a sex crazed male and I don't think of every female I meet as my next potential girlfriend. Is it too much to ask to find someone who is willing to care about me and love me and what to be cared about and loved back.
Anyways enough about the who girlfriend thing it's depressing me. Speaking of depressing things I seem to have developed a taste for bourbon. I blame all of the Cat Power I've been listening to. For some reason I listen to Cat Power when I'm really depressed and her music really makes me want bourbon. Of course after this week I've been taking my self up on my own offer and had a couple shots. I'm also intrested to find out that the same time I was having a pretty major mental break down (Early this year) Cat Power was having one. Makes me feel less alone in the world I guess. And it makes me really feel for her. Also for those of you who like good bourbon I HIGHLY suggest you go try a bottle of Booker's bourbon made by the same people as Jim Beam. Sure it's a little more but the shit is great. I just snuck a shot from a bottle a little while ago and my vision is already blurring. Yet despite it being about 25 proof stronger then my usual 100 proof Knob Creek it goes down a lot smoother.
So alright, it's almost 2 am and I'm dead tired so I leave you with THIS. Something I'm sure all of you ladies will want.
I already tried it a little bit and already found stuff i couldn't find anywhere else.
When you are depressed have you ever tried with Bonnnie "Prince" Billy ?
For me that guy is like a drug.
ANyway i really love also Cat Power,her voice is so smooth and deep and sexy and she doesn't behave like a rockstar,a friend of mine even hang out with her in Barcellona and said she is very easy.