I guess I've hit one of those change everything around and see if anything is different time in my life.
Different school, different country (given it was the one I came from), different hair, different look, different phone. Lots of things are different from the the major to the minor.
I guess it's all an attempt to see if maybe I can find a group of friends, hell, maybe just one friend who will actually be around and be my friend for more then a year by changing random things. A sign that I really have given. I mean I believe I'm a pretty honest guy. I believe I'm capable of being truthful with other people and with mainly my self. Which is funny because over the past four years I've been totally truthful and totally straight about my self and nothing good has come from it. It's funny these people I meet are in a crappy mood or situation and I help them out by listening and telling them what I think they should do and try to relate and what do I get? I get tossed to the gutter as soon as they feel better. I never really expected anything from them except for them to be a descent friend.
Though I think I've been an enabler for slutty girls or for some reason they are drawn to be mean as just a friend. I keep find my self hanging around with girls who with fuck anything with a Y chromosome yet I'm not there to try and get action from them. I think some how I make them feel better about them selves for being the type of person who uses people then throws them away.
I don't know. I miss the days when lived across the hall from a girl who was nice not because she wanted something but because she was just a nice person. I remember dreaming of all of the nice simple things I wanted to say to her. But the world around me never gave me the chance because it had filled her nice head with lies about me. But I digress.
I realized a while ago that I'm not looking for a girlfriend or mate or whatever the hell you want to call it. I'm just looking for a friend. A good trust worthy friend. If a nice girl comes along like the one I was talking about above and shows interest in me sure I won't turn her way but I'm not holding my breath.
Now remember friends make sure you comment so I know someone is reading this or I'll just have to go back non-sense vague entries like all of the "cool" kids and so I know when I'm coming off sounding like a nut job.
Different school, different country (given it was the one I came from), different hair, different look, different phone. Lots of things are different from the the major to the minor.
I guess it's all an attempt to see if maybe I can find a group of friends, hell, maybe just one friend who will actually be around and be my friend for more then a year by changing random things. A sign that I really have given. I mean I believe I'm a pretty honest guy. I believe I'm capable of being truthful with other people and with mainly my self. Which is funny because over the past four years I've been totally truthful and totally straight about my self and nothing good has come from it. It's funny these people I meet are in a crappy mood or situation and I help them out by listening and telling them what I think they should do and try to relate and what do I get? I get tossed to the gutter as soon as they feel better. I never really expected anything from them except for them to be a descent friend.
Though I think I've been an enabler for slutty girls or for some reason they are drawn to be mean as just a friend. I keep find my self hanging around with girls who with fuck anything with a Y chromosome yet I'm not there to try and get action from them. I think some how I make them feel better about them selves for being the type of person who uses people then throws them away.
I don't know. I miss the days when lived across the hall from a girl who was nice not because she wanted something but because she was just a nice person. I remember dreaming of all of the nice simple things I wanted to say to her. But the world around me never gave me the chance because it had filled her nice head with lies about me. But I digress.
I realized a while ago that I'm not looking for a girlfriend or mate or whatever the hell you want to call it. I'm just looking for a friend. A good trust worthy friend. If a nice girl comes along like the one I was talking about above and shows interest in me sure I won't turn her way but I'm not holding my breath.
Now remember friends make sure you comment so I know someone is reading this or I'll just have to go back non-sense vague entries like all of the "cool" kids and so I know when I'm coming off sounding like a nut job.
I dunno. I don't have tons of really good friends either, just lots of acquaintences and people I hang out with from time to time.
I bet I really only have maybe 3 or 4 REALLY good friends.
Good people are hard to find.