I'm feeling moody. Well moody and lonely. So maybe I'll just ramble out what's on my mind.
I keep getting the feeling that I'm going to end up being that guy who you see all throughout the city but who is never with anybody and rarely says a word.
Lately I've been pondering why do I keep on making friends with people who seem to hang around until they they are actually needed as a friend then disappear or become total bastards.
Of course then there's the thoughts of will I ever meet someone who makes me happy romantically even if it's only for a couple of months.
After years of being very honest about what I really want I've always been really amused by how I seem to fall right in the middle between groups of people to talk about it all with. I mean when it comes to talking about relationships and feelings most males feel I'm too girly for them and most females feel that they just can't talk about that stuff with me because I'm a boy.
Maybe I come off as a kind of relationship con artist. Maybe woman kind views me as a threat since I seem too sensitive to be true or something.
I forget which one of my friends cracked a joke about the fact that she can't understand why I don't have girlfriend since I come "pre-trained" referring of course to the fact that most of the day we had been doing "girly" activities without a single protest from me and no want to "get with" her.
This making any sense to any of you? I'm kind of lost my self and I'm the person writing it.
I find it hard to believe that I have yet to find someone who truly believe that to find someone to care for and be cared back by requires no trickery or special tactics besides just being truthful and being yourself.
When I do get a chance to say what's on my mind to friend (I guess I've been using that word pretty loosely all throughout this entry) I always get some advice about how I have to be more aggressive or more this or less this or seem more smarter in this department or less smart in that department. I guess I feel that people change but it's not something a person can always control.
Is that my problem? That I refuse to lie to people just to get them to like me? That I refuse to sell my self as something I'm not?
I guess I just got tired of playing games long ago.
P.S. No this was not inspired by anyone on SG
I keep getting the feeling that I'm going to end up being that guy who you see all throughout the city but who is never with anybody and rarely says a word.
Lately I've been pondering why do I keep on making friends with people who seem to hang around until they they are actually needed as a friend then disappear or become total bastards.
Of course then there's the thoughts of will I ever meet someone who makes me happy romantically even if it's only for a couple of months.
After years of being very honest about what I really want I've always been really amused by how I seem to fall right in the middle between groups of people to talk about it all with. I mean when it comes to talking about relationships and feelings most males feel I'm too girly for them and most females feel that they just can't talk about that stuff with me because I'm a boy.
Maybe I come off as a kind of relationship con artist. Maybe woman kind views me as a threat since I seem too sensitive to be true or something.
I forget which one of my friends cracked a joke about the fact that she can't understand why I don't have girlfriend since I come "pre-trained" referring of course to the fact that most of the day we had been doing "girly" activities without a single protest from me and no want to "get with" her.
This making any sense to any of you? I'm kind of lost my self and I'm the person writing it.
I find it hard to believe that I have yet to find someone who truly believe that to find someone to care for and be cared back by requires no trickery or special tactics besides just being truthful and being yourself.
When I do get a chance to say what's on my mind to friend (I guess I've been using that word pretty loosely all throughout this entry) I always get some advice about how I have to be more aggressive or more this or less this or seem more smarter in this department or less smart in that department. I guess I feel that people change but it's not something a person can always control.
Is that my problem? That I refuse to lie to people just to get them to like me? That I refuse to sell my self as something I'm not?
I guess I just got tired of playing games long ago.
P.S. No this was not inspired by anyone on SG