jackmcginnis

I can't remember the last girl that said she loved me. I think it was that long ago. And even then I'm not even sure she meant it. Funny I never wanted to end up bitter. I just wanted to help people when they were down. I wanted to be a force of good. Living my life the way I wanted but doing good when it was in my power. Funny that I was be shunned for that. I never wanted things to end up like this. Every year I hope it will change. That maybe it's just been a bad streak. I think maybe people aren't that bad. But as I always end up telling myself, hope is a bad thing to have. You can only be disappointed by having hope in this world.

I hoped long ago that I would find someone to love and be loved back by. Long ago I hoped that I would be able to hold someone in my arms and know that they loved me.

But the world keeps on trying to tell me that love doesn't exist anymore. Love died long ago. She withered away slowly ceasing to exist.

Still I long for the embrace of her, of a lover I will never know. Her hands and mine interlaced together holding her tightly.

Tonight I sat outside on a park bench and looked up at the perfectly black sky and thought. Thought about how another year had passed and things had just gotten worse. "Sure," that little voice in my head said, "things could be worse, but they sure as hell could be a hell of a lot better." Funny that was the optimistic voice. Then as always I started to wonder what the next year is going to bring. More of the same I assume.