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jackieomonroe

Everybody's home town

Member Since 2006

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Friday May 11, 2007

May 10, 2007
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I've been kinda down on myself lately. I really don't know what will cheer me up... I have random spurts of happiness, then I get into chilling moods. The kinda mood you look at yourself in the mirror and ask "why am I here, why am I me?" and seriously smit the supreme being for making me the way I am. Extreme, I know... but true.

Other times... I'm confident and all smiles. I'm only that way alone... I couldn't bare my negativity bringing down someone else. Negative energy carries to other people... doesn't matter if you don't know them or not.

Make me happy with either:
a) Kind words
b) Funniness
c) Taking a look at my wish list, that I just worked on, and sending me something nice smile My wish list



Maria Mena-- Just a little Bit


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy

And maybe I'd get there...

Just a little bit pretty
Just a little more aware
Just a little bit thinner

And maybe I'd get there...

Clearly, clearly I remember
Hiking up my skirt
Asking for your time

Clearly, clearly I remember
Nervous if ever confronted
And questioning myself

Oh perhaps, perhaps if I got better
Perhaps if I challenged myself
Perhaps if I was

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy

And maybe I'd get there...

Just a little bit pretty
Just a little more aware
Just a little bit thinner

And maybe I'd get there...

Clearly, clearly I remember
pulling up my shirt
Staring blank ahead

Clearly, clearly I remember
Days of useless crying
Almost feeling dead

Oh perhaps, perhaps if I was smaller
Perhaps, I could control myself
Perhaps if I was

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy

And maybe I'd get there...

Just a little bit pretty
Just a little more aware
Just a little bit thinner

And maybe I'd get there...

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy

And maybe I'd get there...

Just a little bit pretty
Just a little more aware
Just a little bit thinner

And maybe I'd get there...

oooooaaaah oooooaaahhh
ooooaaaah oaaa'aaah

Just a little bit pretty
Just a little more aware
Just a little bit thinner

And maybe I'd get there...



Justin and I went to the diner around us last night and saw some of the saddest yet comforting sights. I couldn't help but to people watch.
It was 12:30 AM- 2:15 AM on a Thursday night and the place was full of people that looked so alone. The kind of people that you look at and feel alittle sad inside for.

Let me tell you about the people...

-There was this lady who was sitting at the counter. She wore a tight polyester dress with a horrid print and showed every roll in her stomach, a big black cardigan, and keds.... The right ked was ripped. She carried a blue duffle bag the size of a purse and her hair a salt and pepper diaster. She kept getting up to go to the bathroom and asked the transexual/vistite waiter(ress) for a dollar bill for her four quaters with a raspy elder lady's voice... the kind that a woman in her 60s would have if she had 5 cats and smoked since she was 13.
The trannie waiter(ress) tried to give her a dollar instead of taking the four quaters. She insisted that she didn't need his charity, that she was just locked out of her home and was waiting for her son to come home and unlock the door.
For some reason, I didn't believe her story.

- There was a man at the counter with a long white beard and hair with all jean attire on and a pair of Frye boots. Frye boots are very expensive... his were about $250. He was a character, but I'm ashamed to say that I thought to myself "he paid a lot of money to look that bad."

-The jean man sat next to a man that wore dressy grey slacks and a orange short sleeved shirt. He had a scrunched up italian face and glasses a constrution worker wears (with the aviator band across the bridge of the nose). He looked like he could be a substitute teacher, or something authortive but not really. They spoke of politics and the weather.

- The two girls sitting behind me were having a strange conversation that made them sound very pretentious. They were friends with the trannie waiter(ess).

- Finally, on to the trannie:waiter(ess)... (s)His name was Ricky and he wore his mid neck lengthed hair half up and half down. He wore black mudd pants... (anyone remember mudd? The coolest 1990-01 teen clothing with a hand print on the ass?)
Anyways, he wore black sketcher-looking shoes and had his monroe pierced. All I could think was "good for him. Ricky is living the way he wants to and doesn't care what anyone else thinks."
I envied him.

-And Lastly, the ghetto white bus boy who was very nice. He polietly asked if we were finished, and said "thank you, have a good nite!" It was strangely comforting to know that people like him are out there.


It was at this resturant that I realized that I'm very preceptive to people's moods. I feel the way a person is feeling without knowing them. It is comforting that people like this exist because I was starting to think that people were starting to be cookie cutter just like the suburban neighboorhoods popping up everywhere. It was nice to know that real people with real problems existed. I don't know why, it just does.

VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
brightredscream:
No, you are more cute than me.
So SHUSH!

Btw - I saw your twin today shopping in my store, I did a double take...It was very strange.
May 12, 2007
formerviking:
I know what you mean about negativity . I come from the most negative family around . The worst part is when one of them tells me I'm being negative . I like to think of myself as a realist . I don't expect things to turn out great , but I don't expect the worst all the time either . We have 3 very old cats . Every day I come home from work expecting one of them to die . So , every day I come home & they're all still here I get happy about it . If something is getting you down , try to focus in on what the thing is . Try to see if there is actually anything you can do to effect it . If there isn't , then there's no sense dwelling on it , letting it get the better of you . If there is , then do something , anything . Even if doing something is just talking about it with a friend . Venting is a GOOD thing .
Also , you're not the only person watcher around PA . I go to the book store & do it all the time biggrin
May 13, 2007

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