well my stomache is officially fucked up from being upset about sarah. i honestly don't know if i'm more pset about losing her as a dating partner that i can't possibly get back or the reason behind it. it really hadn't even occured to me as something that could possibly be a problem and i guess now that i realised it could be, i'm feeling old for the first time. it seems like a lot of people have meltdowns around their 30th birthday but i was more worried about losing a girlfriend of 5 years who i was starting to think about asking to marry me at the time so i never really had time to dwell on my age. guess there isn't anything i can do about any of this other than get older and face the facts that maybe i need to date someone a lot closer to my age
