whew.......
Finally off work for the week!
I am so excited about my trip to New Orleans...woohooooo
Things to do... people to see.... things to drink.... and people to fuck!!! Oh did I say that. God that is goin kick ass.
I so need a weekend out of arkansas.
Let me tell you about what i did yesterday:
As I got off work at 6:30am... I thought I would take a drive down a lonely gravel road. I start punching down on the accelerator, as if I feel the need to be dangerous throwing gravel all over the place. The windows down and the wind is gusting through my hair. I see the dust rolling out behind my car in my rear view mirror. The sun is just now rising so it has not yet sucked the early morning dew off of the grass...oh the shimmers that I see. The colors are beautiful. The auburn sunrise that I gaze at while i am standing here in the middle of nowhere. I am enjoying this arkansas hay field sunrise. Not another soul around for miles. I scream out " I am HAPPY...FINALLY!" I feel like a child yelling on the playground.
I start running through this deserted hay field. Running with my arms spread...running as fast as my little legs can go. I don't know if I was running from something or just running to feel like a kid again without a care in the world. I feel so silly...I give in to my tired overworked body and fall to the ground. Oh I am giggling so much now. Smelling everything around me as if it was the last time I was ever going to be there again. Feeling the hay, dew, and even the dirt. I am in awe of this feeling of being ok. As I walk back to my car I remember all the fun that I once had before all the meds and depression. I hide it so well but at this moment in, my craziness, I decide....no more pretending no more telling myself that I am happy. I am Happy and I love life. The colors, the smells, the people, and just being here. This new feeling of not being dead inside is amazing. I am me... love me if you want and hate me if you must..but in the end I know my friends are there for me and as long as I am true to myself.....happiness will be there.
love you all!!!!!!!!
More non debate news:
1,229 lbs Pumpkin--WOW!!!
Finally off work for the week!
I am so excited about my trip to New Orleans...woohooooo
Things to do... people to see.... things to drink.... and people to fuck!!! Oh did I say that. God that is goin kick ass.
I so need a weekend out of arkansas.
Let me tell you about what i did yesterday:
As I got off work at 6:30am... I thought I would take a drive down a lonely gravel road. I start punching down on the accelerator, as if I feel the need to be dangerous throwing gravel all over the place. The windows down and the wind is gusting through my hair. I see the dust rolling out behind my car in my rear view mirror. The sun is just now rising so it has not yet sucked the early morning dew off of the grass...oh the shimmers that I see. The colors are beautiful. The auburn sunrise that I gaze at while i am standing here in the middle of nowhere. I am enjoying this arkansas hay field sunrise. Not another soul around for miles. I scream out " I am HAPPY...FINALLY!" I feel like a child yelling on the playground.
I start running through this deserted hay field. Running with my arms spread...running as fast as my little legs can go. I don't know if I was running from something or just running to feel like a kid again without a care in the world. I feel so silly...I give in to my tired overworked body and fall to the ground. Oh I am giggling so much now. Smelling everything around me as if it was the last time I was ever going to be there again. Feeling the hay, dew, and even the dirt. I am in awe of this feeling of being ok. As I walk back to my car I remember all the fun that I once had before all the meds and depression. I hide it so well but at this moment in, my craziness, I decide....no more pretending no more telling myself that I am happy. I am Happy and I love life. The colors, the smells, the people, and just being here. This new feeling of not being dead inside is amazing. I am me... love me if you want and hate me if you must..but in the end I know my friends are there for me and as long as I am true to myself.....happiness will be there.
love you all!!!!!!!!
More non debate news:
1,229 lbs Pumpkin--WOW!!!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
megz:
Awe you are so cute ...and you are right ...you deserve to be happy...so be happy...
lawdog:
i am glad you are happy baby...you are constantly on my mind, my dreams, my future...