Oy...
So... things with the girl have not been good. I don't blog here often, so I don't expect anyone to really know the situation or follow along.
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a girl who suffers from serious depression (or BPD, or bi-polar), anxiety, and other mental disorders. It's very, very stressful and difficult to maintain a long distance relationship to begin with, let alone with someone this unstable.
About a month ago things sort of hit the fan, and I basically stepped away. Over the course of a few conversations (or lack thereof, sometimes), I made it clear that I had hit my limit on the amount of stress and emotional turbulence I could endure, that I needed space, and that we wouldn't be talking anytime soon. I even tried to break up with her a few times, but it never really "stuck."
It was a difficult period of adjustment, but after about 2-3 weeks of SIGNIFICANTLY less contact, both my mental state and our interactions started to improve. About 2-3 weeks after that, and her mental state started to improve. I think stepping away and putting some distance between us was a very good thing for both of us; we were entirely too attached to one another, with very high expectations, lots of pressure, and ultimately very little happiness as a result.
And naturally, like an idiot, I started letting her close again. As soon as the distance between us closed, the problems emerged again. We had a huge blow-up on the phone last night, and today was just miserable.
I just... I don't know what to do. She's planning on moving out here in August. We've ALWAYS planned on her moving out here this summer. But I'm honestly conflicted: on the one hand, I'm firmly convinced that the distance is a poison that turns an otherwise healthy relationship into a completely toxic one. On the other hand, I've NEVER been this stressed out over ANYTHING in my life, and in the six months I've been "dating" this girl, I've been miserable a LOT more than I've been happy.
I'm honestly of the belief that her moving out here is a good idea. I think our relationship has a very good chance of working, and we really are good for each other. I think she'll be happier and healthier out here, and I really do care for her a lot.
On the other hand... fuck, dude. FUCK. So miserable.
I just don't know what to do.
So... things with the girl have not been good. I don't blog here often, so I don't expect anyone to really know the situation or follow along.
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a girl who suffers from serious depression (or BPD, or bi-polar), anxiety, and other mental disorders. It's very, very stressful and difficult to maintain a long distance relationship to begin with, let alone with someone this unstable.
About a month ago things sort of hit the fan, and I basically stepped away. Over the course of a few conversations (or lack thereof, sometimes), I made it clear that I had hit my limit on the amount of stress and emotional turbulence I could endure, that I needed space, and that we wouldn't be talking anytime soon. I even tried to break up with her a few times, but it never really "stuck."
It was a difficult period of adjustment, but after about 2-3 weeks of SIGNIFICANTLY less contact, both my mental state and our interactions started to improve. About 2-3 weeks after that, and her mental state started to improve. I think stepping away and putting some distance between us was a very good thing for both of us; we were entirely too attached to one another, with very high expectations, lots of pressure, and ultimately very little happiness as a result.
And naturally, like an idiot, I started letting her close again. As soon as the distance between us closed, the problems emerged again. We had a huge blow-up on the phone last night, and today was just miserable.
I just... I don't know what to do. She's planning on moving out here in August. We've ALWAYS planned on her moving out here this summer. But I'm honestly conflicted: on the one hand, I'm firmly convinced that the distance is a poison that turns an otherwise healthy relationship into a completely toxic one. On the other hand, I've NEVER been this stressed out over ANYTHING in my life, and in the six months I've been "dating" this girl, I've been miserable a LOT more than I've been happy.
I'm honestly of the belief that her moving out here is a good idea. I think our relationship has a very good chance of working, and we really are good for each other. I think she'll be happier and healthier out here, and I really do care for her a lot.
On the other hand... fuck, dude. FUCK. So miserable.
I just don't know what to do.
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I hope things start to look up for you.