Okay. Opinions wanted.
I hooked up with a girl a while ago. It was recently after I had broken up with my girlfriend (about 2 months prior) and I had a thing for this girl for a long time. We actually almost had a threesome, this girl and my girlfriend and me. Got very close, and then she backed out (because, turns out, she didn't dig my girlfriend at the time).
So, this girl and I, we went out, had some drinks, went back to her place, and made out. There were hands in places, etc. After it was over I left.
We've stayed friends since then, and we've talked a lot. I made my interest in her pretty clear at the time, because I genuinely like her. I like her as a person, as a lover, etc. I'm interested in her in a way that I'm usually not interested in most people, men or women, sexual or no. She didn't really reciprocate, for reasons that are explained below. She didn't flat out reject me, or say she wasn't interested. It was more a, "you're awesome, and I am interested, but..."
This girl now, she thinks she's a lesbian. She's young (23) and she has feelings for girls, and she finds them beautiful, and she thinks she's in love with a girl, etc. She has lots of mixed feelings about men, because she sleeps with them or leads them on (or both), but the entire time she feels like it's "wrong" or that she's not that interested, and it makes her feel guilty. She told me that after we fooled around, that she felt guilty almost immediately after because she felt like it wasn't right, despite how much fun she had. The fact that she had fun and enjoyed it made it worse for her. And I honestly do think she's confused, but mostly I think she's just young, and in love with someone who isn't in love back, and unsatisfied. I don't think she's a closeted lesbian or anything. She might like girls, or be in love with a girl, but that doesn't make her a lesbian. That might sound judgmental or a typical heterosexual thing to say, but I know her fairly well, we've talked about it a lot, and that's honestly what I think. It's not just that I'm interested in her that's driving me to think that.
So here's my question. I want to pursue this girl, but at the same time, I do want to be respectful of her. I don't want it to come off as, "you're not a lesbian, you just haven't met the right man yet." Even though that IS kind of what I think, I know how that sounds. I don't want to be dismissive of her. I want to help her. I also want to make an effort to get with her again, and not just fuck her. I'd like to, like, date her.
So, how do I navigate that?
I hooked up with a girl a while ago. It was recently after I had broken up with my girlfriend (about 2 months prior) and I had a thing for this girl for a long time. We actually almost had a threesome, this girl and my girlfriend and me. Got very close, and then she backed out (because, turns out, she didn't dig my girlfriend at the time).
So, this girl and I, we went out, had some drinks, went back to her place, and made out. There were hands in places, etc. After it was over I left.
We've stayed friends since then, and we've talked a lot. I made my interest in her pretty clear at the time, because I genuinely like her. I like her as a person, as a lover, etc. I'm interested in her in a way that I'm usually not interested in most people, men or women, sexual or no. She didn't really reciprocate, for reasons that are explained below. She didn't flat out reject me, or say she wasn't interested. It was more a, "you're awesome, and I am interested, but..."
This girl now, she thinks she's a lesbian. She's young (23) and she has feelings for girls, and she finds them beautiful, and she thinks she's in love with a girl, etc. She has lots of mixed feelings about men, because she sleeps with them or leads them on (or both), but the entire time she feels like it's "wrong" or that she's not that interested, and it makes her feel guilty. She told me that after we fooled around, that she felt guilty almost immediately after because she felt like it wasn't right, despite how much fun she had. The fact that she had fun and enjoyed it made it worse for her. And I honestly do think she's confused, but mostly I think she's just young, and in love with someone who isn't in love back, and unsatisfied. I don't think she's a closeted lesbian or anything. She might like girls, or be in love with a girl, but that doesn't make her a lesbian. That might sound judgmental or a typical heterosexual thing to say, but I know her fairly well, we've talked about it a lot, and that's honestly what I think. It's not just that I'm interested in her that's driving me to think that.
So here's my question. I want to pursue this girl, but at the same time, I do want to be respectful of her. I don't want it to come off as, "you're not a lesbian, you just haven't met the right man yet." Even though that IS kind of what I think, I know how that sounds. I don't want to be dismissive of her. I want to help her. I also want to make an effort to get with her again, and not just fuck her. I'd like to, like, date her.
So, how do I navigate that?
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apriloneil:
Haha Pics were taken, but they are for him only.... I'm really trying to make him feel as though he has things that I don't just hand out to everyone else; something special for him. I'm not even sure if I'll ever post nudes on here again bc he's still very insecure about how I feel about him. Also, this is my last month on here for a long time again.
apriloneil:
I know! 
Lol It was more of a side note...didn't know if you had read anything that had happened last month between he and I.
Lol It was more of a side note...didn't know if you had read anything that had happened last month between he and I.