The more I reach out to my ex-girlfriend, the more I get the impression that she wants nothing to do with me. It's actually making me very sad, because I'm at the point now where I'd really like to be friends with her. We were together for 3.5 years. I think it's only natural to want to stay connected to someone you shared so much time and intimacy with.

Today I texted her and told her that my pepper grinder broke. Pretty silly and stupid, except that she gave me the pepper grinder for my birthday and it's actually very sentimental to me (and to us, I thought). It was one of those perfect gifts that she did a really good job of buying for me, and I really, really enjoyed getting it. So when I texted her about it, I expected to get some kind of good response.

First she asked me if I was drunk (no), then she said, "you're texting me at midnight about your pepper grinder breaking on Halloween. Wtf."

I dunno. It really kind of took the wind out of my sails. I wasn't expecting her to respond that way. She gave me a pretty cold shoulder. And to be perfectly honest, I was kind of hoping to use the pepper grinder as an excuse to talk to her for a bit, just about stuff. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her.

I honestly don't care if she's moved on. I hope she has. I don't care if she's dating someone, or fucking someone. I hope she's happy, I really do. The spiteful phase of the post-relationship recovery has passed.

But I'll be really sad and bummed if she doesn't want to ever talk to me again.