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jace

Member Since 2004

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Monday Mar 16, 2009

Mar 15, 2009
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Sunshine's new set is amazing. It's a breath of fresh air and a wonderful reminder of why I joined this site in the first place. Go check it out.

In other news, things are... uh... okay. It's been about a month since my girlfriend and I parted ways, and I'm slowly adjusting to life without a significant other. There are days where I crave contact, any contact, and there are days where I don't mind so much. I can't sleep very well, and I have headaches all the time. I've renewed my gym membership, and I'm going to try and start a routine again. I'm hoping getting out of the house and getting a decent amount of exercise will help me sleep and improve my status both mentally and physically. Being in an emotionally... volatile (is the best word I can think of to describe it)... state, my brain, or imagination, or whatever you want to call it goes to strange places now when I'm alone, and I'm alone often. So hopefully getting out of the house more will help combat that.

I fantasized that I was mature and stoic enough to come out of the separation unphased and able to just "move on," but I was completely deluded. Living with someone for three years and then not living with someone throws your whole life into a kind of subtle upheaval. I'm not broken; I don't spend days crying in my bathtub, I haven't gone to a prostitute, I haven't alienated my friends and family. I wouldn't characterize myself as broken; I would characterize myself as frequently, but slightly, malfunctioning, like an engine without enough oil. I still work, but I don't work well.

It's a slow adjustment, to be sure. I've never really taken full advantage of my blog, or any blog, as a place to convey my feelings. I've always used it as a pretty whimsical thing. But honestly, using it to vent emotions is helpful. So forgive the heavy blogging as of late.

PS: I'm also feeling especially emotional because I just spent the last two hours having a deep, intense discussion of skepticism, truth, trust, and faith. I wouldn't recommend having such a discussion if you want to feel good afterward.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
katieesq:
We just beat it after a 6 hour marathon. It wasn't as funny as the last one, and not nearly as hard. But it's still enjoyable for its Penny Arcadeness.
Mar 17, 2009
saira:
Hanging in there. We're in that back-and-forth phase, but at last some resolution: we can be friends. We are good at that, and maybe that'll lead us in one direction or another. At least we can both finally relax. How are you holding up (besides obviously what you wrote^^)
Mar 17, 2009

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