So, I've been watching Lost lately. I'm trying to catch up to my friends, who are on season 3 or so. I'm almost done with season 1, and I can say this is one of the most exciting, intense, captivating shows I've ever seen.
Here's where my fucked up psyche comes in. When I watch Lost, I wish I were lost. I really do. Here's why. Right now, I've got my dad paying my way through college, and I have to answer to him. Report my grades, blah blah blah. I hate it. I hate answering to someone for my decisions, decisions that only effect me. I feel like a kid, and I'm not a kid. Same thing with work. It's a little different, but sort of the same. I just hate answering to people, being dictated to, etc. I'm really happiest when I'm in my own element. When I can do my own thing, not answer to anyone, be responsible for myself and my own decisions, and not have to worry about anyone.
So, everyone on Lost is doing their own thing. They're excelling where they excel, and failing where they fail, but they're doing their own thing. They're directly responsible for themselves, and they don't have to answer to anyone. Every day all they have to do is look to their own survival, as best they can. As weird as it sounds, this is so appealing to me. I want to be responsible for myself, but not in the stupid, domesticated way that we are today. I don't want to worry about making ends meet, and working a shit job, and going to school, just to satisfy other people's expectations, or even my own expectations.
I don't want to live in the world that I live in. I want to live on an island. I want to be able to use my head, and come up with solutions to problems that effect me. We don't have fresh water? I'll build a filtration system. Maybe I can't build a filtration system, but at least I could try, and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone saying shit. My solutions would be my solutions to my problems. I don't want to have to run them by anyone, or worry about whether it's in line with the rules, or whether it's okay to do it in my rented house, or whatever. I want to be able to direct my own life, and you know where that could really happen? A fucking deserted island.
Here's where my fucked up psyche comes in. When I watch Lost, I wish I were lost. I really do. Here's why. Right now, I've got my dad paying my way through college, and I have to answer to him. Report my grades, blah blah blah. I hate it. I hate answering to someone for my decisions, decisions that only effect me. I feel like a kid, and I'm not a kid. Same thing with work. It's a little different, but sort of the same. I just hate answering to people, being dictated to, etc. I'm really happiest when I'm in my own element. When I can do my own thing, not answer to anyone, be responsible for myself and my own decisions, and not have to worry about anyone.
So, everyone on Lost is doing their own thing. They're excelling where they excel, and failing where they fail, but they're doing their own thing. They're directly responsible for themselves, and they don't have to answer to anyone. Every day all they have to do is look to their own survival, as best they can. As weird as it sounds, this is so appealing to me. I want to be responsible for myself, but not in the stupid, domesticated way that we are today. I don't want to worry about making ends meet, and working a shit job, and going to school, just to satisfy other people's expectations, or even my own expectations.
I don't want to live in the world that I live in. I want to live on an island. I want to be able to use my head, and come up with solutions to problems that effect me. We don't have fresh water? I'll build a filtration system. Maybe I can't build a filtration system, but at least I could try, and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone saying shit. My solutions would be my solutions to my problems. I don't want to have to run them by anyone, or worry about whether it's in line with the rules, or whether it's okay to do it in my rented house, or whatever. I want to be able to direct my own life, and you know where that could really happen? A fucking deserted island.