Alot has been going through my mind these past few weeks...I'm not sure if you've noticed....then again it's not like I show it. But everywhere I look I see someone I know getting married or having kids...and I know its a selfish thought...trust me I know, but what about me? I'm young, I know this as well...but so are they....how come they get the chance to start a life out and here I am left in the dust of what I call comfort?
I know I shouldn't rush growing up but my main plan in life is to have a family and start that world at a younger age. Trust me, I know I probably could have had my chance with a few guys I was with....but I left because I knew I wouldnt be happy...so why throw it in my face? Maybe I'm just immune to love all together since it is such a delicate emotion...maybe I've just abused it in the past and here it is now just playing hide and seek. I know I say I'm not looking and I know I say I don't want something serious but maybe I'm just saying that in order to play it safe and to keep heartbreak away. I really don't want it to happen again and I dont know what I'd do if it did.
Or maybe I'm just scared in general....
I know I shouldn't rush growing up but my main plan in life is to have a family and start that world at a younger age. Trust me, I know I probably could have had my chance with a few guys I was with....but I left because I knew I wouldnt be happy...so why throw it in my face? Maybe I'm just immune to love all together since it is such a delicate emotion...maybe I've just abused it in the past and here it is now just playing hide and seek. I know I say I'm not looking and I know I say I don't want something serious but maybe I'm just saying that in order to play it safe and to keep heartbreak away. I really don't want it to happen again and I dont know what I'd do if it did.
Or maybe I'm just scared in general....
I really believe the clue to finding the right person for you is finding yourself first. Get comfortable in your skin first and just go meet people that do the same things you find interesting or things you want to be invoved in. I met my wife at a community theater with no thoughts of dating but the chemistry just happened.
Be yourself. avoid expectations, have fun and don't set a timetable. Things will fall in place when they will.
Now been with the wife for17 years, still scares me sometimes but I wouldn't trade her for the world. Take your time and find the right one.
best wishes, enjoy your youth for now and do stuff your married friends don't