This has been a strange weekend so far... and I'm still not sure where it is heading...
Friday night L and I went to see a play - it was a politcal anti-Republican thing. They drilled the message home - that conservatives are Nazi's in the first 5 minutes and then spent the next hour and change continuing to do so... it got very tedious... and anyway, my attitude is... let them have a convention... they have the right to do it... all politcal parties are allowed to hold conventions... if you hate republicans just don't vote for em...
after the play L and I went for Thai food... then she walked north on 2nd Ave. to go out to some parties with other friends. I walked south and proceded to the Slipper Room to meet L2. I met L2, and it was fun for a few minutes, but I quickly realized she was too young... and I got really bored and missed L... L2 and I took a cab back to Williamsburg, but I just jumped out of the cab and sent her home...
Meanwhile L had a lot more fun than me and partied all night with her friends, then she went out to Long Island and went to the beach with her mom on Saturday. Then she came back to the city on Saturday night (but didn't call me) and partied all night with other friends.. well, we had a plan to spend the day together on Sunday and it was a nice day so I drove my bike to her house this morning, but she had crashed at some dude's place in Greenpoint (one of the dudes she had partied with), so I pedaled back...feeling pretty depressed... when I got home, I pulled out boxes of photos from when I was married. I hadn't looked at those photos for 8 years. In fact today, Aug. 29, was the 8 year anniversary of when my wife split and flew back to Russia (a long story for another time) Anyway, my attitude was, if I'm gonna be sad and shit, I may as well be sad about the Russian girl... so I started looking at all these photos of when I had taken Oksana on trips to San Felipe in Mexico, Cozumel, Seattle, Savannah Georgia... and sure enough it made me cry. In the midst of that pathetic scene, the phone rang.. it was L, now walking from Greenpoint, south toward Williamsburg. I hopped on my bike and rode up and met her on Bedord and N. 8th. then we walked back to my place. She hadn't slep much the entire weekend... so she almost immediately crashed out on my bed. I played DJ with some Ray Charles, Joni Mitchell, basically mellow stuff... and at some point I lied down next to her... after about an hour or so, I woke to find us kissing... We had ended as lovers one week ago today... after a lot of sleepy foreplay we finally got into it and had some nice loving sex... but almost immediately she became distant again (maybe cause she hadn't had any sleep since Thursday nite).. now as I write... she's fallen back asleep and I'm a dork on the computer... She looks so peaceful sleeping there.. I don't want to wake her... I'll practice some classical music on the piano... one can never practice Mozart too much.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Update: Everything that I wrote above was done before I found out that L had been doing coke for 2 days straight. And she had fallen back in with all her druggie friends. These are people that she had largely blown off when we started hanging... she had told me she wanted to blow these people off because all they did was drugs... they never did anything creative or productive, and they are, therefore, boring... but now I'm out and the drugs are back... so I feel kinda ripped off - like I invested a lot of emotional energy trying to help her... and she is, apparently, not the slightest bit interested in really getting it together...
she only came by my place because she knew it would be a safe place to sleep. I just feel weird and I think I've lost some respect for her... but if she gets it together I would take her back in a second... anyway
no more drama from this shit...
I quit - she wins...
whoooopeeeeee
Friday night L and I went to see a play - it was a politcal anti-Republican thing. They drilled the message home - that conservatives are Nazi's in the first 5 minutes and then spent the next hour and change continuing to do so... it got very tedious... and anyway, my attitude is... let them have a convention... they have the right to do it... all politcal parties are allowed to hold conventions... if you hate republicans just don't vote for em...
after the play L and I went for Thai food... then she walked north on 2nd Ave. to go out to some parties with other friends. I walked south and proceded to the Slipper Room to meet L2. I met L2, and it was fun for a few minutes, but I quickly realized she was too young... and I got really bored and missed L... L2 and I took a cab back to Williamsburg, but I just jumped out of the cab and sent her home...
Meanwhile L had a lot more fun than me and partied all night with her friends, then she went out to Long Island and went to the beach with her mom on Saturday. Then she came back to the city on Saturday night (but didn't call me) and partied all night with other friends.. well, we had a plan to spend the day together on Sunday and it was a nice day so I drove my bike to her house this morning, but she had crashed at some dude's place in Greenpoint (one of the dudes she had partied with), so I pedaled back...feeling pretty depressed... when I got home, I pulled out boxes of photos from when I was married. I hadn't looked at those photos for 8 years. In fact today, Aug. 29, was the 8 year anniversary of when my wife split and flew back to Russia (a long story for another time) Anyway, my attitude was, if I'm gonna be sad and shit, I may as well be sad about the Russian girl... so I started looking at all these photos of when I had taken Oksana on trips to San Felipe in Mexico, Cozumel, Seattle, Savannah Georgia... and sure enough it made me cry. In the midst of that pathetic scene, the phone rang.. it was L, now walking from Greenpoint, south toward Williamsburg. I hopped on my bike and rode up and met her on Bedord and N. 8th. then we walked back to my place. She hadn't slep much the entire weekend... so she almost immediately crashed out on my bed. I played DJ with some Ray Charles, Joni Mitchell, basically mellow stuff... and at some point I lied down next to her... after about an hour or so, I woke to find us kissing... We had ended as lovers one week ago today... after a lot of sleepy foreplay we finally got into it and had some nice loving sex... but almost immediately she became distant again (maybe cause she hadn't had any sleep since Thursday nite).. now as I write... she's fallen back asleep and I'm a dork on the computer... She looks so peaceful sleeping there.. I don't want to wake her... I'll practice some classical music on the piano... one can never practice Mozart too much.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Update: Everything that I wrote above was done before I found out that L had been doing coke for 2 days straight. And she had fallen back in with all her druggie friends. These are people that she had largely blown off when we started hanging... she had told me she wanted to blow these people off because all they did was drugs... they never did anything creative or productive, and they are, therefore, boring... but now I'm out and the drugs are back... so I feel kinda ripped off - like I invested a lot of emotional energy trying to help her... and she is, apparently, not the slightest bit interested in really getting it together...
she only came by my place because she knew it would be a safe place to sleep. I just feel weird and I think I've lost some respect for her... but if she gets it together I would take her back in a second... anyway
no more drama from this shit...
I quit - she wins...
whoooopeeeeee
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I`ll be straight up, I think you should still keep your options open. You sound like a terrifically loving and sensitive person. Can you be in a distant relationship for long?
If you want to be I think you have to be patient above all else and sort of quietly woo her back through restrained love.
It may take a couple of months but I`m confident that its possible if that`s what you want.
All the very best Ixion