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ivyllamas

Barcelona, ES

Member Since 2007

Followers 1282 Following 1414

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Monday Feb 15, 2010

Feb 15, 2010
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I have to say... that's a shit to write always bad things here...

Tonight I suffered an anxieaty attack. I could't breath and my heart was starting to explode or something like that...

Sometimes I think in my live... and I have to say that I don't find sense on it. I was an unsuccessful student. I never finished my studies. And yes... I took drugs. I don't believe in people. I don't believe in love. People around me seem... happy. Everybody has a work. A life, a car... I haven't a work and I have a debt of 5000$ more or less... amazing yes...

I think I'm some kind of loser. Everyday the people seem... more and more as a pain in the ass.

Sometimes i think I have to take a break... pay my debts... to stabilize my live and try to be... happy.

About SG... I really think that the girls here, in Spain (or Barcelona) are not so interested in shoot a set. Everyday is more and more hard to find girls.... and work with their. In the other hand... is really hard to have a set bought. Girls are not motivated and me either. I'm really thinking to take a break in the website too. In this moment... that website is my income. Hahahah yes... you can laught.

I think... I have to stop to dream and to think about my life. Yes... I guess I want to marry and have a daughter or something like that... and take care of their. But... now, I'm not that person.

Sorry about my sad blogs... but everyday is harder than the last one.

See you SG.

surreal
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
lusille:
i love your sets too, I'd love to shoot with you... maybe you need to visit the uk? I'm sure you'd have plenty of places to stay! let me know if you do, i have a spare room smile

i hope everything works out for you xx
Feb 27, 2010
scandal_:
I don't know, I'm about as motivated as they come.......!

Sounds like you need a little adventure to bring you out of this low. Everyone I know has debt, then again it's part of the American lifestyle....:-/

Have you considered a trip to the US for a couple weeks? I have no doubt you could schedule shoots with many of the ohio girls, rent a car and shoot daily while here.....deposits could fund the trip....perhaps a change of scenery will refresh you?

Some say happiness is a choice, that we decide whether or not to be happy. Lift your spirits, new friend. I know I have days where I can be cynical as well, but every new day we are granted can be the day you decide to finish studies, try something new.....change your life...it's up to you really. smile I wish you well from overseas! kiss
Feb 28, 2010

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