On Saturday I came from the gym and I was starving! Of course, I was raised with no basic skills that would help me in life, like you know.....how to fucking feed myself haha.
With some help it started off easily enough, I was making chicken parmesan so I was cooking the pasta and getting the chicken ready. It was time for the sauce so I went to the fridge and took out a fresh bottle of sauce.
So I get the sauce and I couldnt open it. Im like trying to turn it and it wouldnt budge. I finally asked for help and before anyone came I decided to try once more. I try twisting the top off and the fucking thing goes flying out of my hands. I swear, it was slow motion.....it flew as if I threw it, no lie haha.
So it goes flying straight to the floor and within seconds the floor is covered in fucking thick sauce and glass. I kind of stood there with a a big "asshole" stamped across my forehead...
I go down to clean it up with towels and sure enough I slice my fucking hand open.
*T^T^^@%^#%^@%^&#$%@$*&(*^@)
Granted, it was a small cut but it started to bleed so i ran to the bathroom to clean my hand. After a good 10 mins of cleaning and stopping the bleeding I go back with my crippled hand to finish the rest of the food.
The up side is that the food was awesome 
You come visit me and I'll teach ya how to cook.
I hope you got all the sauce out of your cut though. YEEEEOWWW!!!
Enjoy your forays in the kitchen. If you need any help let me know
xoxo