Caught in the throes of another anorexic episode. I hate doing this but its something that Ive dealt with on and off for about the past 6 years. The familiar feelings of exhaustion with sleepless nights and early mornings have returned. I dont know what sets me off. Ill be fine for awhile and then all of a sudden I just stop eating. I feel like I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to be thin and its not like Im fat right now but I feel like I should be thinner. I understand the irrationality of the whole thing but for whatever reason it doesnt stop me from doing it. I have a feeling that the cause is rooted in my inability to reach out to anyone for any kind of companionship. Particularly with women. Outgoing, Im not. Shy and introverted, I am. Oh well, I hold out hope that someone will come along and find my shyness endearing and cute. Life has its peaks and valleys but always climbing out of the valleys alone gets tiresome.
-R
-R