If I were invisible for a day
The world would be my oyster.
Anxiety of strangers, being judged, and mocked
Has suffocated me for years.
If I were invisible for a day
The world would be my oyster.
I would go shopping and try on many clothes
Without fear of what I would see in the mirror.
If I were invisible for a day
The world would be my oyster.
I could go to the beach
And dance in the sand
To the music of the waves crashing around.
If I were invisible for a day
The world would be my oyster.
I would finally have the courage
To go to bars and have a drink,
Or just wander alone downtown.
If I were invisible for a day
The world would be my oyster.
The things that scare me would be irrelevant
and I could finally breathe.
I have struggled with social anxiety my entire life. Although I go out, I can usually only go with other people, and even still it's always as if my lungs can't take a full breathe. It's something that has effected every friendship and relationship I have ever had, and will continue to. But I refuse to let it hinder me. I put one foot in front of the other, and recently have been trying to venture off on my own.
I went to the beach alone for the first time a few months ago. It was a terrifying, yet exhilarating experience. I spoke with strangers and watched dolphins play.. I was still too nervous to letdown my towel and relax so instead I walked the shore for an hour or so and then headed home. It may not seem like I was there very long but to me it felt like hours. Once I got home I felt proud of myself. Something I hadn't felt in awhile. It was exhausting, it was amazing, it was scary, but it was needed.
Anxiety isn't something most people can see on others, so when I explain myself to friends and family they almost always respond with " I wouldve never known! You seem so calm and collected." Key word is 'Seem' . If you have a friend who constantly cancels, or says they would rather stay at home, don't assume they are unmovitated, or that they don't like you. They may be struggling with some inner turmoil and just need you to understand that it takes times. Love them the same, and let them know you are still there. It means more then you think <3
