itzjusme

I've been going to the bar a lot lately. most nights actually...(I'm not drunk though-I was driving) I go to the bar so much actually that I got in and I don't need to say what i want anymore and i get shit for free...haha...well that is cool with me...anyways i am moving and i won't be too close to here anymore so i won't get to see my friends who chill there too much anymore so i am soaking it up as much as possible. HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE PRIMUS? WELL I DO. anyways, I got to chill with some friends tonight and i did last night too. i am doing so as much as possible before my workload goes up and before school starts.
MY THOUGHTS>>>>
my weight is slowly coming off. it is a pain in the ass , as i expected...i still feel ugly as hell and feel like nobody will ever want me...but you know what? fuck it. whatever. i am not really expecting anything. today i have been single for one month. this has been the longest i have been longest i have been single and SERIOUS about it in 6 plus years. i was in a relationship for a long time. i am trying really hard this time. that relationship was wrong. i am trying not to think about it. i really am. i will be okay. i am strong. i have been through hell and back and if people want to judge me then fuck em because i know who i am... and i know i am a decent person who deserves respect and love just like everybody else. ya know...i can't take all the crap i get sometimes but i keep going... i do it and i am pretty fucking strong and i don't fucking fall into fake bs like some people i know... whatever....well...whatever....i'm here...i'm not asking for much....i love those of you who have given me respect. and i'm sorry i'm kinda going off right now...things are crazy right now...i'm in transition.... I am not sure how to put all of this into words well right now i'm sorry. forgive me. i wish i knew how. i am going through some shit. i am happy because i know some really good shit is coming my way- a really great job, and a great apartment----but at the same i am miserable(i'm flip-flopping---in a real bipolar fashion)....i am brutally honest with you all....i hope you don't mind...i will be okay....that is life. and i am pretty lazy with my grammar right now because who fucking cares...it's sg. haha....hope you are all doing well.

I expect my life will be getting good soon. I do have faith that how hard I work will not be in vain.