oh god. i am trying so hard not to feel shitty right now. i am a fucking bummer. i am not talking to my "bf" right now. I am not sure what i am doing- but i am so fucking sick of being called names and being treated badly. I just want some peace...so i hung up on him and let the phone ring for an hour until he got tired of calling. I'm sick of being told how stupid i am. I'm tired of not being happy. I'm tired of the bullshit. I'm tired of it. I want to fucking be happy. It's hard to talk about because everytime i do- i end up getting back together with him. I don't want to- i am just a weak ass. I hate my fucking brain. I am sooo miserable right now. I have been sitting in my apartment alone all day- really really depressed.
I don't want this kind of life for me- I want to be able to be proud and show off shit (not like a snotty bitch like some people ) I just want to be able to take pride in myself. ugh. whatever...i'm going off again.