Okay...So I had my friends over last night/ went to a friends house (etc). They didn't end up leaving til like 4 or 5. (i'm guessing- I didn't look at the clock) Anyways- It was nice because I never get to see friends anymore and I just did 2 nights in a row. 
Next week FINALS. I actually didn't study this weekend. It's pretty unlike me. I don't have any finals until Thursday. I think I'll be okay. I haven't seen my boyfriend in a week- I see him tonight. He has been doing recording for his band. blah. 
I am still pretty sick (cold-etc). I just want to be well and awake (etc.) I am also doubting I got that job. Of course I have no idea how long it would take them or if they will call me back. I'm not even sure if I want it. To be honest, I'm a little overqualified...not to be snotty...I just have a lot of other stuff i could do for more money. But- It is true that with our money market and stuff, etc...Also, I love animals. i don't know. I'm not used to rejection either. I've always been expected to be the best at everything (except sports-looks-etc) so I freak out when I fail.
Failing is a part of life. I have to brace myself for it...
I feel bad even when I fail at things I don't want. (not that I don't want the job)Eh, I'm human. It's built in.
And I do think It's funny that people expect so much from me when I have so much on my plate as it is, ya know? I try not to complain but it's not easy. Most my friends still haven't even faced half the shit I have- and I hate saying that because I know it's not their fault. I'm glad they have parents- I'm glad people love them and pay for things for them and want them to succeed. I just get jealous sometimes. It hurts to feel unloved but still have a crapload of pressure put on you. Sure, I'm smart and I've done a lot on my own...but it doesn't mean I don't need some support. it doesn't mean I don't need other people. I'm not super-fucking-woman. Sorry.
Next week FINALS. I actually didn't study this weekend. It's pretty unlike me. I don't have any finals until Thursday. I think I'll be okay. I haven't seen my boyfriend in a week- I see him tonight. He has been doing recording for his band. blah.
I am still pretty sick (cold-etc). I just want to be well and awake (etc.) I am also doubting I got that job. Of course I have no idea how long it would take them or if they will call me back. I'm not even sure if I want it. To be honest, I'm a little overqualified...not to be snotty...I just have a lot of other stuff i could do for more money. But- It is true that with our money market and stuff, etc...Also, I love animals. i don't know. I'm not used to rejection either. I've always been expected to be the best at everything (except sports-looks-etc) so I freak out when I fail.
Failing is a part of life. I have to brace myself for it...
I feel bad even when I fail at things I don't want. (not that I don't want the job)Eh, I'm human. It's built in.
And I do think It's funny that people expect so much from me when I have so much on my plate as it is, ya know? I try not to complain but it's not easy. Most my friends still haven't even faced half the shit I have- and I hate saying that because I know it's not their fault. I'm glad they have parents- I'm glad people love them and pay for things for them and want them to succeed. I just get jealous sometimes. It hurts to feel unloved but still have a crapload of pressure put on you. Sure, I'm smart and I've done a lot on my own...but it doesn't mean I don't need some support. it doesn't mean I don't need other people. I'm not super-fucking-woman. Sorry.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
Get better alright?
Dont let the pressure get to you..
also, even if people aren't supportive around you, I am positive there are tons of people here who are willing to talk to you.
makes me wanna go out and give evil and crime a double tap to the back of the head, tho i don't have a cool family prayer
i'm also pretty bored.