I'm really depressed today. It's hitting me really hard. I just can't seem to pull myself out of it. I am not sure what to do about it. I do have a psychiatrist appointment tommorow so maybe he will change my meds or something. It seems that no matter what he puts me on I still get horribly depressed.(or extremely hyper) I guess it's a toss up. You have to catch me at the right time. I'm sick of having this problem. I just want to be normal...to feel normal. It doesn't help that i'm alone a lot. i haven't seen my friends much lately and i've been living alone ever since polly moved to oregon so it gets really lonely. I have no confidence right now. I always imagined such a good life for myself by the time i was 21...it's not so good right now. I know I have accomplished a lot considering the circumstances but I feel like a fucking loser. Maybe I'll feel better in a few hours. blah blah blah. i couldn''t do the fake happy thing today.