oh god. i am trying so hard not to feel shitty right now. i am a fucking bummer. i am not talking to my "bf" right now. I am not sure what i am doing- but i am so fucking sick of being called names and being treated badly. I just want some peace...so i hung up on him and let the phone ring for...
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VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
I think I update this thing too much. It's like some strange form of cheap therapy for me 
Anyways, I went to a friend's house last night...where I drank all of mr. choleraflood's guinness and met a bunch of people i've never met. I ended up getting home at 7(?)in the morning. Good times. 
And again- like I said in my last drunken journal-...
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Anyways, I went to a friend's house last night...where I drank all of mr. choleraflood's guinness and met a bunch of people i've never met. I ended up getting home at 7(?)in the morning. Good times.
And again- like I said in my last drunken journal-...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
chrisnail_and_i:
Hooray for good times!! I'm really glad you had a fun evening (7am?! 
), I know you needed it.
You are the updating queen!
Hooray for good times!! I'm really glad you had a fun evening (7am?! ), I know you needed it.
You are the updating queen!
allied:
Yeah, definitely keep up the updates. And the pics. I hope your bro is doing better.
I'm with some of my friends in MV. Everyone please go say hello to my friend choleraflood who I'm drinkin' with right now. thanks guys. Love ya.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kosomot:
will do 
funktion:
oooh have fun and ill go say hi 
Thanks everyone for their kind, kind words.....I realize I have been rather depressing lately. I am really sorry for that. I don't know how to be other than honest. That is just the way I am. Sometimes a little to honest. 
I tell people a lot about myself- I seem selfish at times it seems. Shit- nobody really talks to me about my problems and...
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I tell people a lot about myself- I seem selfish at times it seems. Shit- nobody really talks to me about my problems and... Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
chrisnail_and_i:
Never feel like you are being too depressing here, this is one place you can let it all go. Some people will not respond but lots of others will. Just like Kos said above, I love how honest you are in your journals. Loads of people come on here and put up a front, pretending to be something they are not. The people I'm most drawn to here are the ones that lay it all out, the honest ones.
In reponse to your last journal, I just wanted to add my voice to the many others... You are gorgeous!!!
I know that you feel pretty bleak right now, and that does not help your own perception of your body but please trust us on this one!
Viva La 1:05!
In reponse to your last journal, I just wanted to add my voice to the many others... You are gorgeous!!!
I know that you feel pretty bleak right now, and that does not help your own perception of your body but please trust us on this one!
Viva La 1:05!
speed_metal:
You know I'm around for you whenever you want. And you soo need to get yer' arse online because I have some new stuff that you HAVE to hear.... it'll be in EMfEP too.
Just got back from hanging out with friends. Went to a friends house and I saw some people who i hadn't seen since high school. It was interesting and fun.
I am still super depressed. What else is new eh? fuck it. Hope all of you are doing well. I had some good laughs tonight...but I feel like shit because I look like crap compared...
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I am still super depressed. What else is new eh? fuck it. Hope all of you are doing well. I had some good laughs tonight...but I feel like shit because I look like crap compared...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
acetracer:
Cheer up caps lock girl
aikaterine:
Aww sweetie, I wasn't talking about you. Your situation is entirely different from the one I was talking about. Like - hmm, okay - a good example is my moronic last boyfriend. I would tell him I loved him, and he would say, "No you don't. No one loves me. Fuck happiness."
Uh. ?
That's what I meant. Having a mood disorder and going through life experiences that are obviously going to fuck with anyone's head is entirely different.
Uh. ?
That's what I meant. Having a mood disorder and going through life experiences that are obviously going to fuck with anyone's head is entirely different.
I just went out to dinner with my uncle and my grandparents. We had sushi I hadn't had decent food in a long time. yum.
My bro is now in a group home. I hope he gets the help he needs.
Fuck I need a job and a place to live. I swear it's the story of my life. I am either doing really really...
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I hadn't had decent food in a long time. yum.
My bro is now in a group home. I hope he gets the help he needs.
Fuck I need a job and a place to live. I swear it's the story of my life. I am either doing really really...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
friedbanana105:
my best wishes go out to your brother, and to you as well.
speed_metal:
I was supposed to have sushi the other day... instead my friend didn't wake up, and went the next day when I was at work. I've been cravin' for a long long time.
my apartment is such shit. i need to move. anyone live in the sf bay area need a roomie? i can pay up to $550. (maybe) I am emotional, I like to party, have sleepovers, and listen to loud music. But I am responsible, intelligent and a full-time student. etc etc etc. Whateva...I am not going to get anywhere with this.... 
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
nelecaster:
hello
hello
thearcanecircle:
me me me me..ohh wait i have one already and no more open beds and way to far..nevermind
shoot me. life is overwhelming. 
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
leena1:
how about i shoot you some
friedbanana105:
bang.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
deadlyeye:
I'm the "Kiss my ass" bunny.
You are damn straight I'm gonna tell the bathroom whos boss. I'm sure its trembling in awe of my cleaning fury as I write this.
Thanks about the other things, too.
So, how are you doing?
You are damn straight I'm gonna tell the bathroom whos boss. I'm sure its trembling in awe of my cleaning fury as I write this.
Thanks about the other things, too.
So, how are you doing?
deadlyeye:
mine is generally incredibly hectic. I don't think that is going to change any time soon. I can't remember any time in my life where things were "calm" as it were.
oh, as far as the comment I made about feeling guilty.. I used to use meth constantly (however I never smoked or injected). I didn't have too much problems divorcing myself from using it. I am SO lucky when it comes to drugs. I ended up actually using some black tar heroin once.. I am so incredibly lucky I didn't get addicted. Ive seen what heroin can do to people, and it scares the hell out of me. Im incredibly thankful that one time didn't lead to a life of heroin.
(edited to kill an extra letter)
[Edited on May 20, 2004 10:50PM]
oh, as far as the comment I made about feeling guilty.. I used to use meth constantly (however I never smoked or injected). I didn't have too much problems divorcing myself from using it. I am SO lucky when it comes to drugs. I ended up actually using some black tar heroin once.. I am so incredibly lucky I didn't get addicted. Ive seen what heroin can do to people, and it scares the hell out of me. Im incredibly thankful that one time didn't lead to a life of heroin.
(edited to kill an extra letter)
[Edited on May 20, 2004 10:50PM]
I just got home from a show at the pound in SF. I saw sawa's band- WATCH ME BURN, Cattle Decapitation, The Black Dahlia Murder, and Vital Remains. I got to briefly speak with and meet sawa - it was short and sweet being that I was lacking things to say. Let me say- her band was awesome. She really fucking rocks! The world...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
iyce:
hey you
glad you're having fun
glad you're having fun
alicetrip:
high five right bacj at you!
I got this e-mail from the lady who interviewed me the other day for the teacher postion. In order for my hours to work and for me to do school I will have to begin as a sub. I was expecting that- so no surprise there. But if i get the job i can do more later if i'd like....
"Thanks for emailing me Lauren....
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"Thanks for emailing me Lauren....
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
abracapocus:
Good luck with that! I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya!
deathhippie:
Good luck good luck..!!
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rockerbayarea:
OH YEAH, a lot of drunk girls on a couch always spells for good times heheh,jp which one are you?
heheh,jp which one are you?
rockerbayarea:
what flowers? What was JC up to? how was your weekend? Keep me in da loop
For what its worth.. we all love you
haha. My picture is really bad.. I have better.. but, I think that one is amusing.