Yes a collection of the songs that talent forgot!
And really so should we.
Vanilla - No Way, No Way.
Take four 'ladies' fresh from one of those binge drinking britain documentaries, place them next to an outdoor pool then make them warble over a melody that is so awful its almost sarcastically taunting the listener, that yes somebody you know probably bought this.
Often you wonder when watching these things "I bet they are working in tesco now" but when it comes to these ladies they probably did this on their day off from tesco, so they wont feel too cut up about it.
Stefan Dennis - Dont it make you feel good?
"Hey that kylie and jason are making a shitload of cash we should get in on that act lets get in on that get one of the young cast members on the phone...what they have all gone?...who is left? Stefan who?"
He is in neighbours now as a one-legged tycoon with mental health problems.
No really.
E-Male.
Yeah i dont even have a name for this hate crime against the ears, but listen out for the line "we are e-male, we just cant fail". I have a photographic memory when it comes to pop culture and even i can hardly remember them.
Oh and this was from a time when e-mail was the most futuristic thing ever, what can be more futuristic than putting a band on rollerskates.
"Look rollerblades!"
"Can they sing?"
"LOOK ROLLERBLADES!"
Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One
Pop cunt bedingfield, with a song destined to be the first dance for many a tasteless couple until the new pop cunt blunt came along.
The lyrics to the are so sickly its like being fed 9 litres of Nutella covered candy floss in 5 mins...through a drip.
At some points in the song his voice goes so high only dogs can hear him.
Sadly the noise wasnt a command to tear off his face.
PJ and Duncan - Lets Get Ready To Rhumble.
No I havent spelt that wrong. Bad spelling was all the rage back then.
Its hard to think that those same men we know and love on tv forcing z-list celebrities to eat the genitals of endangered species were once pop artistes.
Thats because they werent.
They made shit like this.
It couldnt be more whiter if it tried.
Nice moves though.
