Has it really been that long since I typed a load of crap and posted for your reading pleasure? Why yes. Yes it has.
So let me fill a few minutes of your time with humour you couldn't possibly think of yourselves.
Paris Hilton gets 45 days in jail
Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton has been jailed for 45 days after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction. She will be jailed on the 5th of June, with no chance of early release. As she told the judge that "I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything" maybe the first thing she will realize now that she is switching her brain on is how and why she is famous. Why does she remain in the public eye? What is she offering the human race? The only thing I can think of is sex tapes. On a semi-regular basis. Like that one that was done in night vision which made her look like some sex-crazed raccoon enjoyed a man whilst being filmed by a film crew in war-torn Basra.
Sudan's famous goat 'wife' dies
Yes that's right. The internets most favourite marriage between that of a man and the goat he was caught interfering with is over. After the 'wife' rose, died after choking on a plastic bag she was eating while on the local streets. I don't know what's more shocking the fact that he had to marry the goat he was caught bumming, or the fact she had to resort to eating rubbish of the streets. Her husband clearly not providing for her! What happened to the words he uttered in the vows? Were they lies? Did he not mean every word he said? Was marriage just something he felt he felt he had to do as his excuse for bumming the goat? "yes officer I was bumming a goat, but I planned on making her my bride. As it is love. As wrong a love as society could think of but still love!" Or maybe Sudan is just for mentals.
Hope for sex-boost slimming pill
Scientists are developing a pill which could boost women's libido and reduce their appetite. The hormone-releasing pill has so far only been given to female monkeys and shrews who displayed more mating behaviour and ate less. Well if it made monkeys and vermin fuck more and eat less, then that will be good enough for most of the human race. Another case of scientists working on problems that never existed. Who has ever gone public and proclaimed tbeir wish for some kind of medication that made them want to have sex more and eat less at the same time? Why do we need to have such a pill on the market? "Are you overweight and randy as hell but really cant be arsed letting your fella take part in an act of full sex? Well do we have the solution for you!" I bet it will be on sale in the back of the daily star in under a week.
This is funny:
This is a crazy but good song, and thats toni braxtons brother on the whiny vocals:
This is my recommended listen for the week:
The Jai-Alai Savant - Scarlett Johansson Why Don't You Love Me
So let me fill a few minutes of your time with humour you couldn't possibly think of yourselves.
Paris Hilton gets 45 days in jail
Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton has been jailed for 45 days after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction. She will be jailed on the 5th of June, with no chance of early release. As she told the judge that "I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything" maybe the first thing she will realize now that she is switching her brain on is how and why she is famous. Why does she remain in the public eye? What is she offering the human race? The only thing I can think of is sex tapes. On a semi-regular basis. Like that one that was done in night vision which made her look like some sex-crazed raccoon enjoyed a man whilst being filmed by a film crew in war-torn Basra.
Sudan's famous goat 'wife' dies
Yes that's right. The internets most favourite marriage between that of a man and the goat he was caught interfering with is over. After the 'wife' rose, died after choking on a plastic bag she was eating while on the local streets. I don't know what's more shocking the fact that he had to marry the goat he was caught bumming, or the fact she had to resort to eating rubbish of the streets. Her husband clearly not providing for her! What happened to the words he uttered in the vows? Were they lies? Did he not mean every word he said? Was marriage just something he felt he felt he had to do as his excuse for bumming the goat? "yes officer I was bumming a goat, but I planned on making her my bride. As it is love. As wrong a love as society could think of but still love!" Or maybe Sudan is just for mentals.
Hope for sex-boost slimming pill
Scientists are developing a pill which could boost women's libido and reduce their appetite. The hormone-releasing pill has so far only been given to female monkeys and shrews who displayed more mating behaviour and ate less. Well if it made monkeys and vermin fuck more and eat less, then that will be good enough for most of the human race. Another case of scientists working on problems that never existed. Who has ever gone public and proclaimed tbeir wish for some kind of medication that made them want to have sex more and eat less at the same time? Why do we need to have such a pill on the market? "Are you overweight and randy as hell but really cant be arsed letting your fella take part in an act of full sex? Well do we have the solution for you!" I bet it will be on sale in the back of the daily star in under a week.
This is funny:
This is a crazy but good song, and thats toni braxtons brother on the whiny vocals:
This is my recommended listen for the week:
The Jai-Alai Savant - Scarlett Johansson Why Don't You Love Me
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
altho apparently the massive overcrowding in l.a. jails might get her out early.
also, on that cheaters show they showed up with somebody's boyfriend to some sex party his girlfriend was at, and a man & his goat answered the door. ewwwwww.
sorry 'bout the random comment.