I often wonder if im a good friend.
My life has been littered with people who at the time I thought we would always stay in touch and rely on each other, yet we drift apart.
I can't exactly blame them as they all seem to be able to maintain good relationships with other people.
I have a theory that people get bored of me. That im far too easily read, im not the slightest bit mysterious, and once you have worked out that im a clown, there isn't really much else after that.
No outtakes after the main feature.
Hell, my life is one big outtake. I just need to canned laughter and the knowing glance to the camera.
Wherever that camera is.
When it comes to male friends I think it's the fact I can't do all that laddish stuff, the fact that I don't really drink really limits my fun stories about nights out. And I don't think stories such as how I take singstar too seriously or how I dodged a tramp punching me TWICE. Have as much man-points as sleeping with some random girl and leaving out the window. In that situation im much more likely to stay as still as possible in her bed and worry if she is getting a good nights sleep and then hoping she wakes up soon because I need to go to the toilet but im too nervous to wake her up and ask her where it is.
With female friends it's that I don't do all the hugging and kissing stuff, all that friendly playful contact. I still work off the system I used in primary school; it's nudging in the ribs and digs on the arm from me. And I can't do that having a good chat business either. Sure im a pretty good listener, but after I have heard your problems it makes me feel awkward as my life is so inconsequential I often end up coughing or reading the label of the sandwich I was eating.
Am I missing out?
I probably am. But to change now would waste all those years I have spent making myself into the fine example of a man I am now..Yeah I better get some self-help books.
In other news
* I when to the greyhound track and bet twenty English pounds sterling. And wonfuck all. Bloody dogs. The term favourite, means nothing to them! Although the place was full of drunken men swearing a lot, which was mildly entertaining. Oh, and balancing bits of paper on my dad's bald head.
* I saw the most racist old woman ever in the post office today.
-CASHIER NUMBER 7 PLEASE-
(Looks over to cashier 7 sees he was an Asian man)
"Oh no.erm you go next"
-CASHIER NUMBER 11 PLEASE-
(Sees this time it's a black man)
"Oh.ermno im alright you go"
-CASHIER NUMBER 3 PLEASE-
(It's a white girloff trundles old woman)
I only realised her awful morals after the second cashier option arrived. Stupid witch, shows a commitment to racism rarely seen this side of 1945. What does she think a cashier in a bank is going to do? Steal all her money? In front of everyone? Or eyeball her address then follow her home and do her in? Actually I would do that, it would be one less oxygen thieving idiot off the planet.
Thanks for stopping by....Stay classy!
I caught up late with this but it's still fucking good:
My life has been littered with people who at the time I thought we would always stay in touch and rely on each other, yet we drift apart.
I can't exactly blame them as they all seem to be able to maintain good relationships with other people.
I have a theory that people get bored of me. That im far too easily read, im not the slightest bit mysterious, and once you have worked out that im a clown, there isn't really much else after that.
No outtakes after the main feature.
Hell, my life is one big outtake. I just need to canned laughter and the knowing glance to the camera.
Wherever that camera is.
When it comes to male friends I think it's the fact I can't do all that laddish stuff, the fact that I don't really drink really limits my fun stories about nights out. And I don't think stories such as how I take singstar too seriously or how I dodged a tramp punching me TWICE. Have as much man-points as sleeping with some random girl and leaving out the window. In that situation im much more likely to stay as still as possible in her bed and worry if she is getting a good nights sleep and then hoping she wakes up soon because I need to go to the toilet but im too nervous to wake her up and ask her where it is.
With female friends it's that I don't do all the hugging and kissing stuff, all that friendly playful contact. I still work off the system I used in primary school; it's nudging in the ribs and digs on the arm from me. And I can't do that having a good chat business either. Sure im a pretty good listener, but after I have heard your problems it makes me feel awkward as my life is so inconsequential I often end up coughing or reading the label of the sandwich I was eating.
Am I missing out?
I probably am. But to change now would waste all those years I have spent making myself into the fine example of a man I am now..Yeah I better get some self-help books.
In other news
* I when to the greyhound track and bet twenty English pounds sterling. And wonfuck all. Bloody dogs. The term favourite, means nothing to them! Although the place was full of drunken men swearing a lot, which was mildly entertaining. Oh, and balancing bits of paper on my dad's bald head.
* I saw the most racist old woman ever in the post office today.
-CASHIER NUMBER 7 PLEASE-
(Looks over to cashier 7 sees he was an Asian man)
"Oh no.erm you go next"
-CASHIER NUMBER 11 PLEASE-
(Sees this time it's a black man)
"Oh.ermno im alright you go"
-CASHIER NUMBER 3 PLEASE-
(It's a white girloff trundles old woman)
I only realised her awful morals after the second cashier option arrived. Stupid witch, shows a commitment to racism rarely seen this side of 1945. What does she think a cashier in a bank is going to do? Steal all her money? In front of everyone? Or eyeball her address then follow her home and do her in? Actually I would do that, it would be one less oxygen thieving idiot off the planet.
Thanks for stopping by....Stay classy!
I caught up late with this but it's still fucking good:
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
theknives:
Oh, that one. I think it's commonly referred to as life.
starbug:
Those two shows are pretty much the only ones that are free at the mo, as far as I can work out? Takes about 5 mins to register and download everything and you dont have to pay a subscription, may be worth it once it gets going 