Matt's Guide to the Information Super-Highway.
* Not having a profile picture of yourself means you are either so self-conscious you believe no-one would like you really if they saw who you are, or you are actually fuck ugly and are doing us all a service, or you are hiding from the FBI. They don't prove how wacky or unique you are. The internet is a medium which is based on first impressions, you could be the funniest motherfucker this side of Berlin but if you look like one of the Krankies, its friend request denied.
* Myspace users please choose your profile song wisely; make it a choice that will not annoy the living shit out of people when they go onto your page. This in turn means that novelty records are a no no. What may seem high japery at the time can rapidly turn into the reason people read your messages but never reply.
* Don't make your profiles too busy, it makes it more welcoming for visitors when they come to your page not to be greeted by a audio/visual attack by the Radiohead/clips of Family Guy that reside on your page.
* Please don't use 'LOL' or 'ROFL' in messages, you aren't 12 years old you are a grown up human being.
* The more surveys you do, the more I hate you. I don't care what colour pants you have on. it has no bearing on our virtual friendship. The fact you agree with me does.
* No there isn't such a thing as a Myspace tracker. That was a plan by some hackers to get you to input your login details so they can spam the shit out of your bulletin board.
* If you are bored, don't post a bulletin saying so. Youtube is possibly the best invention ever. I suggest you use it to watch robot chicken. Comedy gold!
Im going mad I havent had a day off work for 10 days now.
* Not having a profile picture of yourself means you are either so self-conscious you believe no-one would like you really if they saw who you are, or you are actually fuck ugly and are doing us all a service, or you are hiding from the FBI. They don't prove how wacky or unique you are. The internet is a medium which is based on first impressions, you could be the funniest motherfucker this side of Berlin but if you look like one of the Krankies, its friend request denied.
* Myspace users please choose your profile song wisely; make it a choice that will not annoy the living shit out of people when they go onto your page. This in turn means that novelty records are a no no. What may seem high japery at the time can rapidly turn into the reason people read your messages but never reply.
* Don't make your profiles too busy, it makes it more welcoming for visitors when they come to your page not to be greeted by a audio/visual attack by the Radiohead/clips of Family Guy that reside on your page.
* Please don't use 'LOL' or 'ROFL' in messages, you aren't 12 years old you are a grown up human being.
* The more surveys you do, the more I hate you. I don't care what colour pants you have on. it has no bearing on our virtual friendship. The fact you agree with me does.
* No there isn't such a thing as a Myspace tracker. That was a plan by some hackers to get you to input your login details so they can spam the shit out of your bulletin board.
* If you are bored, don't post a bulletin saying so. Youtube is possibly the best invention ever. I suggest you use it to watch robot chicken. Comedy gold!
Im going mad I havent had a day off work for 10 days now.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I know what you mean about busy profiles though, my girlfriends friends profiles often crash my browser when I try to stalk her online.
Bastards.