isiness

I'm to strong for my own good sometimes. Fake it till you make it works the best in life. I wish I could talk but really all I can do is write. It's terrible because I know sometimes it makes people feel really shut out of my life. I like to be that strong personality that can handle anything. I am that person. I think that's why I write more then talk. I punched my brothers girlfriend this weekend. She had it coming to her. Though needless to say my family has been pressuring me to apologize a lot. I want to apologize, it's not my personality. When someone is pressuring you to do it, the meaning is loss. So the fact that I didn't run and apologize with 36 hours means my family has disowned me. I know they will come running to me as soon as something is wrong. A man I knew as a father figure in my life passed away this weekend. It's been a crazy ass weekend. I feel bad for whining but I needed to get it out. Now that it's over...
I have had a fuckin fantastic time since I've been back. I'm very happy, this weekend rocked. I met some really awesome people and bonded over drunkness. It was great! My friends are wonderful and I couldn't ask for more. I stood up for myself and have been just happy regardless of bullshit. I'm looking forward to starting my job! Next Monday. I was browsing through furniture today by chance and it reminded me how much I want to be around it. Looking at fabric, designing furniture to fit a personality. It all just works so well for me. I can't wait to get my own place! School starts soon too, I'm really glad. I always feel so much better when I'm learning things. Makes my mind feel active. Active minds are a wonderful thing! Ok I'm off to drink a little more and watch fight club, maybe cuddle a little