I ran across a subject here in the SG site about "dating" and how it sucks. This, I believe is one of life's many tortureous misery's for which I find that I truly love to set free, my own heart's torterous views. With my Ph.D from the University of life, I bring to bare a twisted but simple view into dating.
How many of us are truly honest when we meet a person who we are attracted to? When we enter into the begining of a partnership with another person, why is it that we always have to dust off our best cloths from the closets, clean the house which has sat stalel with cloths thrown about for weeks on end, or clean out the moths woth of coffee cups and fast food out of our cars. It is our full intention to misdirect the those first impressions. We basicly lie about who we are as individuals. Why do we feel the need to wear these masquerade masks in order to impress other people? Once the newness or another way to say it is the expression, "the honeymoon is over", seemingly enters the relationship, people tend to truly begin to see a different side of their partners that they hadn't seen before due to the euphoric high we all tend to expierence in the begining of the relationship.
What if in the begining of each new relationship we use, instead of using midirection, use honesty by allowing a person to see us at our worst moments in our lives. Instead of putting on the mask, we just allow the person to see us as we are in our monthly lives.
There is a passage for which I was given by a close friend. Within in this passage I found a truth about relationships and it had awakened within me an ugly reality for which that I now had to change. I was forced to face this cruel reality for which I had unknowingly ran away from for so many years. I was forced to face myself and the ugly beast I had become.
This passage is by an author I have no name for. The name of the passage is called the "INVITATION" and it goes like this:
It does not interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It does not matter to me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It does not interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the moon, "YES!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me where or what or whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you like the company you keep in the empty moments.
In reading this I was forced in the realization that I was a man who would himself use misdirection in each new relationship. I was a man who would feed self-will by manipulating the women in my life by infecting them with guilt, and shame.
Before I can enter into any relationship I know now that I need to work on my own character and moral defects so that I can become a better man. I wish to change so that I can like the man I see looking back at me each new day in the mirror. I want a woman to love me for the person who I am becoming today as a result of the passage above because I feel within its meaning it defines me as the man I want to be.
How many of us are truly honest when we meet a person who we are attracted to? When we enter into the begining of a partnership with another person, why is it that we always have to dust off our best cloths from the closets, clean the house which has sat stalel with cloths thrown about for weeks on end, or clean out the moths woth of coffee cups and fast food out of our cars. It is our full intention to misdirect the those first impressions. We basicly lie about who we are as individuals. Why do we feel the need to wear these masquerade masks in order to impress other people? Once the newness or another way to say it is the expression, "the honeymoon is over", seemingly enters the relationship, people tend to truly begin to see a different side of their partners that they hadn't seen before due to the euphoric high we all tend to expierence in the begining of the relationship.
What if in the begining of each new relationship we use, instead of using midirection, use honesty by allowing a person to see us at our worst moments in our lives. Instead of putting on the mask, we just allow the person to see us as we are in our monthly lives.
There is a passage for which I was given by a close friend. Within in this passage I found a truth about relationships and it had awakened within me an ugly reality for which that I now had to change. I was forced to face this cruel reality for which I had unknowingly ran away from for so many years. I was forced to face myself and the ugly beast I had become.
This passage is by an author I have no name for. The name of the passage is called the "INVITATION" and it goes like this:
It does not interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It does not matter to me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It does not interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the moon, "YES!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me where or what or whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you like the company you keep in the empty moments.
In reading this I was forced in the realization that I was a man who would himself use misdirection in each new relationship. I was a man who would feed self-will by manipulating the women in my life by infecting them with guilt, and shame.
Before I can enter into any relationship I know now that I need to work on my own character and moral defects so that I can become a better man. I wish to change so that I can like the man I see looking back at me each new day in the mirror. I want a woman to love me for the person who I am becoming today as a result of the passage above because I feel within its meaning it defines me as the man I want to be.