ironmog

Tonight I find myself made not of steel. But of rage. I. Am. Made. Of. RAGE.

There is a burning anger in my heart tonight. I can pinpoint a few small sparks that added to the inferno. I can't find who brought all the dry tinder though. The one source of my stoked rage, my pure insatiable battle lust, that I cannot find. So I burn. I burn in my heart. In my mind.

I don't have enough angry music. I need more, I need to rage, to scream, to rail against the entire world. If I could get away with it I'd walk outside and scream until I passed out. I won't screw other people over though. So I can't do that. I just want to hit. I want to feel the bones in my hand shatter. I want to destroy something beautiful. Something others would love. I want to find joy and happiness in their misery.

Tonight I am the villain. I struggle so often, hero, villain. Which one am I?

I want to be the hero. I really, truly want to be. Tonight the hero is dead. Tonight, the villain runs free.

Tonight I'm simply that other me I know lurks in the dark corners of my mind.

I am Jay.

-JC