ironical

copy/paste from a letter to Jeangrey. She's coming for a visit! ...if it was up to me...

I live next to homeless shelter or three, (Portland is the land of the homeless) so the nights are great for listening to bizarre and often totally insane conversations from my top floor window, but it is never annoying and always interesting. I live next to local produce shops, my friends' homes and jobs and the "best mass transit in the world", book stores, bars, strip clubs (another thing Portland has in abundance), coffee shops, internet cafes, a gym where I was given a free membership because I am fucking rad, tattoo shops (still shopping around for an artist worthy of giving me my first ink [a sleeve, have I told you about my tattoo plans?]), anyway, everything is at my finger tips! ... except you

What has two thumbs and is zen as fuck?