ironical

If I were to author a book, you better believe it would be goddamn epic goddamnit!

It'd have pirates and clones and aliens and death and struggle and space ships and shapeshifters and crime fighters and timetravel and galactic exploration and genetically "invented" pets and ---dammit, no sex?? No, there is no sex. It would be a book about chillens in a future school for the super "gifted" (turns out most of the kids are not "human" in the strictest sense), so yeah, no sex.

Goddamnit! I mean scifi writers have sometimes taken an inventive take on sex and kids--NOT the direction I want to take. So why not make them older? I'm not going to age my kids just so I can still be creepy with sex, and besides, theyre super genius kids--I need them to be at a more "manageable" age for my "not-super-genius" self to write them decently.

If I were to author a book...