ironbhr

there are things worst then death....i am three of them!

a fond memory of hanging out with brother mike. too many nights sitting around drinking coffee, philosophizing. not there is anything wrong with it. just way too many night doing it.

this is why i feel so pickled today. hung out with brother steve last night. drinking way too much coffee. shit listen to me! too much coffee. never thought i would ever say that! ha! back in the day i would levitate home do to the caffine intake on any given night. it sucks to be reminded that i'm not a kid anymore. maybe i should take up drinking (alcohol)

so steve and i hung last night writing sotries for a comic he's never going to write. good story. very funny. but that's all i can say about it. last time i helped him plot something out i ended up totally taking over the story and subverting it to my ideas. but i understand how he wants to bounce ideas off someone for feedback and not get that "i-have-no-idea-what-you-are-talking-about" or "damn-you're-a-freak" looks from the rest of his family. does that mean i'm respected? i love this kid. so a little back story. i've known steve since he was a little kid. my mom was his older sister's second teacher and years later (during high school) she i and i dated....well....saw each other....got the friend speach. anyway. whenever i used to go see here at her place...to pick her up or whatever...i always used to stop and hang with steve for a bit..play with leggos or g.i. joes....i thought he was a cool little kid. and now that he's an adult (kinda...he's only twenty) we've become very tight.
see this is the deal. steve's dad died when he was a little kid, really young... like five or something. so steve's looked for a father figure whenever he spent time with an male older then him. trust me, hanging with his family, he has some really cool role models in his family, cousins and uncles...that kinda thing. but it was never enough. it never is. so for a while he tried to emulate me....sorry to say but he couldn't. i had to sit him down and tell him that he had to get his own method. i worked long and hard to get to where i'm at. it took many years of doing nothing but taking it all in, practice and heartbreak. he was trying to do it without the hard work, the dues paid and all the other bullshit. it was like frank had to say to sammy....

but i love the kid....he's that goofy little brother i never really wanted but now i think is cool and want him to hang as much as possible. i'm glad that i can be that guy that he turns to when he has questions, concerns or comments. it's especially funny now that i'm moving away. i know he'll survive, i just hope he doesn't fall into that bad habit of wanting to pretend he's me.
here's to the future.