I mark the 8th year I have been away from my abusive first husband. With the conviction of Scott Peterson and just the world in general and the fact that it can happen to ANYONE I thought I would put this useful information up.
If you are in a relationship like this... run as fast as you can. The hardest step is the first one and you have to take it on your own, you wont be alone after that.
With Love
B - The Survior
You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
Has a history of bad relationships.
Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.
If you are in a relationship like this... run as fast as you can. The hardest step is the first one and you have to take it on your own, you wont be alone after that.
With Love
B - The Survior
You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
Has a history of bad relationships.
Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.