Ok, work was so busy but I was upbeat all day because I got chocolate covered coffee beans. Damn, they are good. 
There is a lot that I need to say, first of all, there is a situation in my life that is making me sad. I know one of the parties invovled reads SG and most likely will read this. There is a lot I can say about this person and not one of them would be mean or hateful. I just feel this person is in so much pain right now, that they need to get help, as much as I try, I will not be able to make them happy. I only chose to distant myself because things have become so intense and so many more things have been said that I simply need to regroup. I did not respond to you because I see all the pain in your eyes. If I were to say something back, when I was upset, I would have added more pain to you. I will always care about you. Right now, I just need to have space in my life to regroup and lick my wounds. I am hurt. Let me get over it. I will always care. I just need space. I will never say anything bad about you. EVER and I dont HATE you. It destorys me everytime you implied that. If you knew me, if you REALLY knew me you would know, that I could never hate. It is not in my heart and bones.
To a friend that has just came back into my life. Please know that I dont want you to feel pain or cause yourself a moment of stress because of this. You have NOTHING to do with this. This was a situation that has been lying in the underbelly for a while. I have never been good at confrintation. If I had started to speak up sooner maybe this would not be happening.
In the end, I am responsible for making choices. I am the one who did not speak up. I am the one who gladly took the situation at hand and let it get out of control. I am the one who will take responsability for my actions. I will not blame x, y, or z for my problems. I got in situations because I choose on a snap instinct at times, by blinded admiration sometimes, and sometimes just the hope of something more. Maybe I am naive. Maybe being Polyanna, thinking that everyone is ok is not a good thing in this world.
I would love to say I am dissillusioned with the world and I am going to pull the covers over my head and wait until the world is a better place. But you know what, while I am waiting for a better day, the world is passing me by. There were many years, my life passed me by, while I waited for the better tomorrow.
In the movie Dead Poet's Society, they talk about Siezing the day. Let's face it folks, we are food for worms. I have faced death in this last year. I faced it square in the eye. I will be honest. As clear as day.. I am going to live. I am going to make the most of it.
As for the situation at hand, I am not going to speak of it on this board or with any other person. I have said what I have to say and I will let the fates take it from there. I have a part of me that would like to yell and scream and have a pissing match over all of it. In the end, all invovled would be hurt. With that being said, I also asked for space and time to heal.
I am happy. Gosh, I can ramble though.
ShelbyLee
There is a lot that I need to say, first of all, there is a situation in my life that is making me sad. I know one of the parties invovled reads SG and most likely will read this. There is a lot I can say about this person and not one of them would be mean or hateful. I just feel this person is in so much pain right now, that they need to get help, as much as I try, I will not be able to make them happy. I only chose to distant myself because things have become so intense and so many more things have been said that I simply need to regroup. I did not respond to you because I see all the pain in your eyes. If I were to say something back, when I was upset, I would have added more pain to you. I will always care about you. Right now, I just need to have space in my life to regroup and lick my wounds. I am hurt. Let me get over it. I will always care. I just need space. I will never say anything bad about you. EVER and I dont HATE you. It destorys me everytime you implied that. If you knew me, if you REALLY knew me you would know, that I could never hate. It is not in my heart and bones.
To a friend that has just came back into my life. Please know that I dont want you to feel pain or cause yourself a moment of stress because of this. You have NOTHING to do with this. This was a situation that has been lying in the underbelly for a while. I have never been good at confrintation. If I had started to speak up sooner maybe this would not be happening.
In the end, I am responsible for making choices. I am the one who did not speak up. I am the one who gladly took the situation at hand and let it get out of control. I am the one who will take responsability for my actions. I will not blame x, y, or z for my problems. I got in situations because I choose on a snap instinct at times, by blinded admiration sometimes, and sometimes just the hope of something more. Maybe I am naive. Maybe being Polyanna, thinking that everyone is ok is not a good thing in this world.
I would love to say I am dissillusioned with the world and I am going to pull the covers over my head and wait until the world is a better place. But you know what, while I am waiting for a better day, the world is passing me by. There were many years, my life passed me by, while I waited for the better tomorrow.
In the movie Dead Poet's Society, they talk about Siezing the day. Let's face it folks, we are food for worms. I have faced death in this last year. I faced it square in the eye. I will be honest. As clear as day.. I am going to live. I am going to make the most of it.
As for the situation at hand, I am not going to speak of it on this board or with any other person. I have said what I have to say and I will let the fates take it from there. I have a part of me that would like to yell and scream and have a pissing match over all of it. In the end, all invovled would be hurt. With that being said, I also asked for space and time to heal.
I am happy. Gosh, I can ramble though.
ShelbyLee
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
antlong:
eh sox in 6. lets be realistic. lol
antlong:
were rusty, and the spanks are pretty good. dont overestimate em, but were hungry. we got this one.